Kaylee @ Gor on Earth: recovered treasures
List of commits:
| Subject | Hash | Author | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Seventh (7) layer | c39a91e200494f535115566b4b880693c5938648 | Maxim Leonov | 2017-08-03 00:00:00 |
| Sixth (6) layer | 9a5a187152ddbccdceb3770420703c6a52ae5ba4 | Maxim Leonov | 2017-08-03 00:00:00 |
| Fifth (5) layer | 740c843d01cbed9fb118976e4fcd017b5c3dccc1 | Maxim Leonov | 2017-08-03 00:00:00 |
| Fourth (4) layer | eb46810e63eac246220593d99f319681195aa912 | Maxim Leonov | 2017-08-03 00:00:00 |
| Third (3) layer | 213beed2b88894e3a5ad5a4e388002e8fe827518 | Maxim Leonov | 2017-08-03 00:00:00 |
| Second (2) layer | f6b7facb0f678d6b887f4a8831e3e0a37bf27f3f | Maxim Leonov | 2017-08-03 00:00:00 |
| First (1) layer | 203bd3f71c7faf5a50d42d5e2ade73c1c5574c2a | Maxim Leonov | 2017-08-03 00:00:00 |
Commit c39a91e200494f535115566b4b880693c5938648
- Seventh (7) layer
Author: Maxim Leonov
Author date (UTC): 2017-08-03 00:00
Committer name: Maxim Leonov
Committer date (UTC): 2017-08-03 00:00
Parent(s): 9a5a187152ddbccdceb3770420703c6a52ae5ba4
Signing key:
Tree: 3eb9e0ed2dae91bf9ea1498e616693fbe998598e
Author: Maxim Leonov
Author date (UTC): 2017-08-03 00:00
Committer name: Maxim Leonov
Committer date (UTC): 2017-08-03 00:00
Parent(s): 9a5a187152ddbccdceb3770420703c6a52ae5ba4
Signing key:
Tree: 3eb9e0ed2dae91bf9ea1498e616693fbe998598e
| File | Lines added | Lines deleted |
|---|---|---|
| cards.htm | 2 | 4 |
| cards.htm-head.txt | 7 | 7 |
| essayindex.htm | 16 | 8 |
| essayindex.htm-head.txt | 7 | 7 |
| index.htm | 108 | 51 |
| index.htm-head.txt | 7 | 7 |
| kayindex.htm | 1 | 1 |
| kayindex.htm-head.txt | 7 | 7 |
| lakajira.htm | 771 | 771 |
| lakajira.htm-head.txt | 7 | 7 |
| File cards.htm changed (mode: 100644) (index cad95f4..19ad768) | |||
| ... | ... | and protect yourself. Please, help share awareness with others. | |
| 168 | 168 | <td | <td |
| 169 | 169 | valign="top" | valign="top" |
| 170 | 170 | width="60%"> | width="60%"> |
| 171 | <blockquote> | ||
| 172 | <font | ||
| 173 | size="4" | ||
| 174 | color="white">UPDATE: Several new cards have been added to Slave Heart and Long Distance/Thank you Galleries.</font><br> | ||
| 171 | <blockquote><center> | ||
| 172 | <img src="/images/kaylee/buttons/bannermemory.jpg"><br><br></center> | ||
| 175 | 173 | <br> | <br> |
| 176 | 174 | <center><img | <center><img |
| 177 | 175 | src="/images/kaylee/reflections/doublebar.jpg" | src="/images/kaylee/reflections/doublebar.jpg" |
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| File essayindex.htm changed (mode: 100644) (index fee621b..7b8a588) | |||
| ... | ... | visit the Slave Musings section of this site.</p> | |
| 452 | 452 | <br> | <br> |
| 453 | 453 | <p | <p |
| 454 | 454 | class="title">Enslavement</p> | class="title">Enslavement</p> |
| 455 | <i><b><a | ||
| 456 | href="gift.htm" | ||
| 457 | target="new">The 'Gift'</a></b></i><br> | ||
| 458 | 455 | <i><b><a | <i><b><a |
| 456 | href="woodcarver.htm" | ||
| 457 | target="new">The Woodcarver</a></b></i><br> | ||
| 458 | <i><a | ||
| 459 | href="lovechains.htm" | ||
| 460 | target="new">Love's Chains</a></i><br> | ||
| 461 | <i><a | ||
| 462 | href="gift.htm" | ||
| 463 | target="new">The 'Gift'</a></i><br> | ||
| 464 | <i><a | ||
| 459 | 465 | href="lib.htm" | href="lib.htm" |
| 460 | target="new">Women's lib and the submissive female</a></b></i><br> | ||
| 461 | <i><b><a | ||
| 466 | target="new">Women's lib and the submissive female</a></i><br> | ||
| 467 | <i><a | ||
| 462 | 468 | href="envy.htm" | href="envy.htm" |
| 463 | target="new">Jealousy and Envy</a></b></i><br> | ||
| 469 | target="new">Jealousy and Envy</a></i><br> | ||
| 464 | 470 | <i><a | <i><a |
| 465 | 471 | href="cornerstones.htm" | href="cornerstones.htm" |
| 466 | 472 | target="new">Cornerstones</a></i><br> | target="new">Cornerstones</a></i><br> |
| ... | ... | visit the Slave Musings section of this site.</p> | |
| 493 | 499 | <p | <p |
| 494 | 500 | class="title">Ideas in the Books</p> | class="title">Ideas in the Books</p> |
| 495 | 501 | ||
| 502 | <i><b><a | ||
| 503 | href="lovestories.htm">Favourite Gorean Love Stories</a></b></i><br> | ||
| 496 | 504 | <a | <a |
| 497 | 505 | href="gorbdsm.htm">Is Gor a subset of BDSM?</a><br> | href="gorbdsm.htm">Is Gor a subset of BDSM?</a><br> |
| 498 | 506 | <i><a | <i><a |
| ... | ... | visit the Slave Musings section of this site.</p> | |
| 523 | 531 | <p | <p |
| 524 | 532 | class="title">Online Gor</p> | class="title">Online Gor</p> |
| 525 | 533 | ||
| 526 | <b><i><a | ||
| 527 | href="value.htm">Measuring One's Value</a></i></b><br> | ||
| 534 | <i><a | ||
| 535 | href="value.htm">Measuring One's Value</a></i><br> | ||
| 528 | 536 | <i><a | <i><a |
| 529 | 537 | href="letter.htm">Letter to a new girl</a></i><br> | href="letter.htm">Letter to a new girl</a></i><br> |
| 530 | 538 | <a | <a |
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| File index.htm changed (mode: 100644) (index f783c09..59f1020) | |||
| 1 | <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 3.2//EN"> | ||
| 1 | <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> | ||
| 2 | 2 | <html> | <html> |
| 3 | 3 | <head> | <head> |
| 4 | <meta | ||
| 5 | name="generator" | ||
| 6 | content="HTML Tidy, see www.w3.org"> | ||
| 7 | <title>Welcome to Gor on Earth</title> | ||
| 4 | 8 | <style | <style |
| 5 | 9 | type="text/css"> | type="text/css"> |
| 6 | |||
| 7 | 10 | BODY { | BODY { |
| 8 | scrollbar-face-color: #873809; | ||
| 9 | scrollbar-highlight-color: #DBB787; | ||
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| 16 | 19 | --> | --> |
| 17 | 20 | </style> | </style> |
| 18 | <meta | ||
| 19 | name="generator" | ||
| 20 | content="HTML Tidy, see www.w3.org"> | ||
| 21 | <title>Gor on Earth</title> | ||
| 21 | |||
| 22 | 22 | <meta | <meta |
| 23 | 23 | name="DESCRIPTION" | name="DESCRIPTION" |
| 24 | 24 | content= | content= |
| ... | ... | scrollbar-track-color: #6E2506; | |
| 26 | 26 | <meta | <meta |
| 27 | 27 | name="keywords" | name="keywords" |
| 28 | 28 | content= | content= |
| 29 | "Gor,consensual slavery,Gorean philosophy,Gorean lifestyle,Gorean slavery"> | ||
| 29 | "Gor,consensual slavery,Gorean philosophy,Gorean lifestyle,Master,slave"> | ||
| 30 | <meta | ||
| 31 | name="robots" | ||
| 32 | content="index, follow"> | ||
| 33 | <meta | ||
| 34 | name="revisit" | ||
| 35 | content="14 days"> | ||
| 30 | 36 | </head> | </head> |
| 31 | 37 | <body | <body |
| 32 | bgcolor="#000000" | ||
| 33 | link="tan" | ||
| 34 | vlink="tan"> | ||
| 38 | background="images/kaylee/background/midnightbg.jpg" | ||
| 39 | bgcolor="#FFFFFF" | ||
| 40 | text="#F9EDDA" | ||
| 41 | link="#D4BF95" | ||
| 42 | alink="#FFFFFF" | ||
| 43 | vlink="#FFFFFF"> | ||
| 35 | 44 | <basefont | <basefont |
| 36 | face="arial" | ||
| 45 | face="Times New Roman" | ||
| 37 | 46 | size="4" | size="4" |
| 38 | color="tan"> | ||
| 39 | <script language="JavaScript"> | ||
| 40 | <!-- | ||
| 41 | // No rightclick script | ||
| 42 | // � 2001 `kaylee | ||
| 43 | function click() { | ||
| 44 | if (event.button==2) { | ||
| 45 | alert('If this artwork touched your heart and you would like to send it to someone else, please visit the link below which will allow you to send it as an eCard. This work is protected by copyright �kaylee{G} 2001. All Rights Reserved. '); | ||
| 46 | } | ||
| 47 | } | ||
| 48 | document.onmousedown=click | ||
| 49 | // --> </script> | ||
| 50 | |||
| 51 | <br> | ||
| 52 | <br> | ||
| 47 | color="#F9EDDA"> | ||
| 48 | <center><br> | ||
| 53 | 49 | <br> | <br> |
| 50 | <img | ||
| 51 | src="images/kaylee/title/frontpagelogo.jpg" | ||
| 52 | alt="titlelogo" | ||
| 53 | border="0" | ||
| 54 | height="328" | ||
| 55 | width="700"><br> | ||
| 54 | 56 | <br> | <br> |
| 55 | <center><img | ||
| 56 | border="1" | ||
| 57 | src="/cards/newcards/silence.jpg" | ||
| 58 | alt="In memory of those lost"><br> | ||
| 59 | 57 | <br> | <br> |
| 60 | 58 | <br> | <br> |
| 61 | 59 | <br> | <br> |
| 62 | <a | ||
| 63 | href="main.htm"><img | ||
| 60 | <table | ||
| 61 | width="700" | ||
| 62 | summary="text" | ||
| 64 | 63 | border="0" | border="0" |
| 65 | src="/images/kaylee/buttons/enterflame.jpg" | ||
| 66 | alt="Enter the Gor on Earth site"></a><br> | ||
| 64 | cellpadding="5"> | ||
| 65 | <tr> | ||
| 66 | <td> | ||
| 67 | <p><font | ||
| 68 | face="Times New Roman" | ||
| 69 | size="4" | ||
| 70 | color="#FFFFFF"><i>This site hosts a library of original essays | ||
| 71 | written on Gorean philosophy, as it pertains to living this | ||
| 72 | lifestyle on earth. No paga, no tarns, no Priest Kings. Just the | ||
| 73 | ideals Norman laid out in his novels, to be lived on this world | ||
| 74 | by real people.<br> | ||
| 67 | 75 | <br> | <br> |
| 68 | <a | ||
| 69 | href= | ||
| 70 | "http://pub50.bravenet.com/postcard/post.php?usernum=4279220395" | ||
| 71 | target="new"><img | ||
| 76 | The essays are primarily addressed to an audience already | ||
| 77 | familiar with the world and the ideas of the novels; while | ||
| 78 | strangers to Gor might certainly enjoy or learn from them, they | ||
| 79 | might find that the excellent <a | ||
| 80 | href="http://www.silkandsteel.com">Silk and Steel</a> website | ||
| 81 | provides an incredible wealth of information about both the | ||
| 82 | culture and the philosophies described in the Gor novels, which | ||
| 83 | might be useful in providing context for the writings on this | ||
| 84 | site.<br> | ||
| 85 | <br> | ||
| 86 | Other resources available on the site include a guide to | ||
| 87 | locating the novels, related Gorean readings, discussion board, | ||
| 88 | eCards, and a collection of essays devoted to slavery. The owner | ||
| 89 | welcomes questions, comments, and submissions to the site. May | ||
| 90 | you find the words here interesting and enlightening- enjoy!<br> | ||
| 91 | <br> | ||
| 92 | <br> | ||
| 93 | <br> | ||
| 94 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 95 | </td> | ||
| 96 | </tr> | ||
| 97 | </table> | ||
| 98 | <form | ||
| 99 | name="jump"><select | ||
| 100 | name="menu"> | ||
| 101 | <option | ||
| 102 | value="essayindex.htm">Main Library</option> | ||
| 103 | <option | ||
| 104 | value="discussion.htm">Gor on Earth Discussion Forum</option> | ||
| 105 | <option | ||
| 106 | value="books.htm">Locating the Gor novels</option> | ||
| 107 | <option | ||
| 108 | value="kaylee.htm">Sanctuary: a collection of slave | ||
| 109 | musings</option> | ||
| 110 | <option | ||
| 111 | value="cards.htm">Reflections of the Soul eCards and web | ||
| 112 | design</option> | ||
| 113 | </select> <input | ||
| 114 | type="button" | ||
| 115 | onclick= | ||
| 116 | "location=document.jump.menu.options[document.jump.menu.selectedIndex].value;" | ||
| 117 | value="GO"></form> | ||
| 118 | <br> | ||
| 119 | <br> | ||
| 120 | <br> | ||
| 121 | <br> | ||
| 122 | <a href="essayindex.htm"><img src="images/kaylee/buttons/enterbutton.gif" | ||
| 123 | alt="enter to the main library" | ||
| 72 | 124 | border="0" | border="0" |
| 73 | src="/images/kaylee/buttons/ecardflame.jpg" | ||
| 74 | alt="share this card with someone"></a> | ||
| 75 | <br> | ||
| 125 | height="45" | ||
| 126 | width="137"></a> | ||
| 127 | <br> | ||
| 128 | <br> | ||
| 129 | <br> | ||
| 130 | <br> | ||
| 131 | <br> | ||
| 132 | <br> | ||
| 133 | <br> | ||
| 76 | 134 | <br> | <br> |
| 77 | 135 | <br> | <br> |
| 78 | <br> | ||
| 79 | 136 | <br> | <br> |
| 80 | <br> | ||
| 81 | 137 | <br> | <br> |
| 82 | <br><font size="1">Some graphic elements are copyrighted artwork �2000-2001 www.arttoday.com and used with permission.</font></center> | ||
| 138 | <font size="2" color="#FFFFFF"><i>All essays and designs protected under the creator's copyright,<br> as outlined in the Gor on Earth <a href ="copyright.htm" target="new">copyright policy</a></i></font> | ||
| 139 | </center> | ||
| 83 | 140 | </body> | </body> |
| 84 | 141 | </html> | </html> |
| 85 | 142 | ||
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| 83 | 83 | alt="Email kaylee"></a><br> | alt="Email kaylee"></a><br> |
| 84 | 84 | <img | <img |
| 85 | src="/images/kaylee/sanctuary2.jpg" | ||
| 85 | src="/images/kaylee/sanctuaryh.jpg" | ||
| 86 | 86 | border="0"><br> | border="0"><br> |
| 87 | 87 | <img | <img |
| 88 | 88 | src="/images/kaylee/dreams.jpg"><br> | src="/images/kaylee/dreams.jpg"><br> |
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| File lakajira.htm changed (mode: 100644) (index 1f8b1ac..f1a8c88) | |||
| 1 | <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> | ||
| 2 | <html> | ||
| 3 | <head> | ||
| 4 | <meta | ||
| 5 | name="generator" | ||
| 6 | content="HTML Tidy, see www.w3.org"> | ||
| 7 | <title></title> | ||
| 8 | <title>Gor on Earth</title> | ||
| 9 | </head> | ||
| 10 | <body | ||
| 11 | background="/images/kaylee/boundhands.jpg" | ||
| 12 | bgproperties="fixed" | ||
| 13 | link="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 14 | vlink="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 15 | alink="#F9F8E5"> | ||
| 16 | <basefont | ||
| 17 | face="times new roman" | ||
| 18 | size="4"> | ||
| 19 | <script | ||
| 20 | type="text/javascript" | ||
| 21 | language="JavaScript"> | ||
| 22 | <!-- | ||
| 23 | // No rightclick script | ||
| 24 | // � 2001 `kaylee | ||
| 25 | function click() { | ||
| 26 | if (event.button==2) { | ||
| 27 | alert('If this essay touched your heart and you would like to send it to someone else, please feel free to send them the site address. There are links located at the top AND bottom of the page designed to help you with that, and it only takes a moment to fill out. But please, do not copy some of my most intimate thoughts and repost them as your own, or republish this essay without my permission. This work is protected by copyright �kaylee{G} 2001. All Rights Reserved. '); | ||
| 28 | } | ||
| 29 | } | ||
| 30 | document.onmousedown=click | ||
| 31 | // --> | ||
| 32 | </script> | ||
| 33 | |||
| 34 | <table | ||
| 35 | width="85%" | ||
| 36 | align="right"> | ||
| 37 | <tr> | ||
| 38 | <td></td> | ||
| 39 | </tr> | ||
| 40 | |||
| 41 | <tr> | ||
| 42 | <td | ||
| 43 | valign="top"> | ||
| 44 | <blockquote><br> | ||
| 45 | <br> | ||
| 46 | <center><!-- v- Pass-it-on Gear Code by http://htmlgear.com -v --> | ||
| 47 | |||
| 48 | <a target="PASSITON"href="http://htmlgear.tripod.com/pass/control.pass?u=kayleewench&i=3&a=render&"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/pass/pio_blue.gif" border="0"></a><BR><a href="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/specs/pass.html"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/log/pa_i_getgear.GIF" alt="get this gear!" border="0"></a></a> | ||
| 49 | <!-- ^- End Pass-it-on Gear Code -^ --> | ||
| 50 | |||
| 51 | |||
| 52 | |||
| 53 | |||
| 54 | <noscript><a | ||
| 55 | href= | ||
| 56 | "http://htmlgear.lycos.com/pass/control.pass?u=kayleewench&i=3&a=render&" | ||
| 57 | target="RESULTS">Email this to a friend.</a><a | ||
| 58 | href="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/specs/pass.html"><img | ||
| 59 | align="middle" | ||
| 60 | border="0" | ||
| 61 | width="16" | ||
| 62 | height="14" | ||
| 63 | src= | ||
| 64 | "http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/log/pa_i_gear.GIF"></a></noscript> | ||
| 65 | <!-- ^- End pass-it-onGEAR Code -^ --><br> | ||
| 66 | <br> | ||
| 67 | <img | ||
| 68 | src="images/kaylee/lakajira.jpg"></center> | ||
| 69 | |||
| 70 | <br> | ||
| 71 | <br> | ||
| 72 | <font | ||
| 73 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 74 | size="4"><i>Master,<br> | ||
| 75 | Your girl went to bed last night with one thought in mind, a | ||
| 76 | prayer said silently to grant this one grace and quiet poise to | ||
| 77 | balance her wanton slavefire and passion, to know that she moves | ||
| 78 | and responds in manners that brings you pride, love, and | ||
| 79 | happiness in your possession. Looking back, as milestones in our | ||
| 80 | life often prompt us to do, this one considered the sweet irony | ||
| 81 | of our first encounters, and her own naivet� in regards to our | ||
| 82 | growth together for so long. It is our journey, our growth, our | ||
| 83 | life that has changed so much, starting off with no expectations, | ||
| 84 | and steadily growing to a point where the emotion binds this girl | ||
| 85 | to your will, your soul as no other ever has. This slave doesn't | ||
| 86 | even know all that she is capable of giving-- she has grown so | ||
| 87 | much throughout her enslavement. Looking back through her most | ||
| 88 | intimate moments recorded in the diary of a slave, she realises | ||
| 89 | that this is the journey of discovery what being a slave truly | ||
| 90 | means to her.</i></font> | ||
| 91 | |||
| 92 | <p><font | ||
| 93 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 94 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 95 | <br> | ||
| 96 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 97 | |||
| 98 | <center><font | ||
| 99 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 100 | size="4"><i><img | ||
| 101 | src="images/kaylee/boundbar.jpg"></i></font></center> | ||
| 102 | |||
| 103 | <font | ||
| 104 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 105 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 106 | <br> | ||
| 107 | Dear diary,<br> | ||
| 108 | Tonight I uttered words that I once swore would never cross my | ||
| 109 | lips. I did not realise that I was saying it until I did and my | ||
| 110 | shock was evident. When the sweet burning inside me wrenched open | ||
| 111 | my pride, and I could no longer hold it in, I whispered "slave". | ||
| 112 | That's all. One sigh, one word which changed me so. Because he | ||
| 113 | stopped, and asked me if I knew what I said, and I could only | ||
| 114 | nod, tears swimming in tears of joy. I felt oddly peaceful, and | ||
| 115 | yet, my blood was rushing so loudly, I was sure he could hear it. | ||
| 116 | Why did I fear it so? What does it mean?</i></font> | ||
| 117 | |||
| 118 | <p><font | ||
| 119 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 120 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 121 | Dear diary,<br> | ||
| 122 | I used to think that slaves had no opinions, no minds of their | ||
| 123 | own, no strength. A lot of the ones I talk to are looking for | ||
| 124 | someone to make their decisions for them. I've seen Masters get | ||
| 125 | called on their cell phone every hour, because the girls need | ||
| 126 | permission for even the little things, long distance. Maybe what | ||
| 127 | I've feeling isn't slavery. I'm feeling more free, not | ||
| 128 | restricted. My mind seems to work more, examine myself and his | ||
| 129 | views even more now. I want to be proactive and know him so well, | ||
| 130 | I obey instinctively, not because I have lists and lists of | ||
| 131 | rules. What happens if I get caught in a situation where the | ||
| 132 | rules don't apply, and I cannot think about what he'd want me to | ||
| 133 | do? I'd love to know what he expects or enjoys, and make my | ||
| 134 | decisions with that foremost in mind, or to be trained so well, | ||
| 135 | that words aren't necessary.</i></font></p> | ||
| 136 | |||
| 137 | <p><font | ||
| 138 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 139 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 140 | Dear diary,<br> | ||
| 141 | A Master asked me today to describe why I felt I was a slave, | ||
| 142 | and I gave it much thought before sending him a letter. I wrote | ||
| 143 | him, "I am a slave, to deny myself the pleasure of surrender | ||
| 144 | would be the same as denying any other aspect of my nature. This | ||
| 145 | is not a role, or a mask I can don at will. It is a flame within | ||
| 146 | my slave heart that endures, be it engulfing me with desire or | ||
| 147 | burning steadily in tranquility. It is me.</i></font></p> | ||
| 148 | |||
| 149 | <p><font | ||
| 150 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 151 | size="4"><i>So why do I feel this need to embrace this | ||
| 152 | lifestyle? Without my surrender, without the ebb and flow of | ||
| 153 | power exchange to tantalize me, without the undying ache to | ||
| 154 | remind me of my slave soul, without the growth and constant | ||
| 155 | redefining of my fears and personal limits, my life is not | ||
| 156 | complete, but merely a shell of my potential. Once having tasted | ||
| 157 | the completion, the serenity of true total surrender, how can I | ||
| 158 | seek anything less?</i></font></p> | ||
| 159 | |||
| 160 | <p><font | ||
| 161 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 162 | size="4"><i>To be owned, to reveal my soul slowly, peeling back | ||
| 163 | layers until I am exposed to another, to intertwine so seamlessly | ||
| 164 | with another that I can no longer remember where I stop and he | ||
| 165 | starts, to be taken to the edge in trust and feel the adrenalin | ||
| 166 | course through me, to reach limits and heights I never thought | ||
| 167 | possible on my own, yet eagerly strive to reach for another's | ||
| 168 | pleasure... it is these aspects that I cannot live | ||
| 169 | without."</i></font></p> | ||
| 170 | |||
| 171 | <p><font | ||
| 172 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 173 | size="4"><i>Why did I open up to a stranger, based on a few | ||
| 174 | short words with him? I'm not sure, but now I can't help but | ||
| 175 | wonder if being this open to a man is a risk. He affects me, | ||
| 176 | although I try not to let it catch me off guard. I'm stronger | ||
| 177 | than that.</i></font></p> | ||
| 178 | |||
| 179 | <p><font | ||
| 180 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 181 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 182 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 183 | Sometimes I wonder if he knows what exactly is going on inside | ||
| 184 | my head? I watch other girls, so peaceful, so serene in their | ||
| 185 | slavery, giving up everything so easily... and yet... I am | ||
| 186 | fighting this every inch. I am a strong slave, assertive in | ||
| 187 | nature and self confident in my worth. With every level I sink | ||
| 188 | lower into my surrender, I fight it internally, struggling to | ||
| 189 | maintain the last shreds of self control until at last I cannot | ||
| 190 | hold back any longer and let go completely. When not controlled, | ||
| 191 | I seize control. Is it me? Am I just too stubborn to give to that | ||
| 192 | depth that I crave? I told him, "I am strong, a Man must be | ||
| 193 | stronger..."</i></font></p> | ||
| 194 | |||
| 195 | <p><font | ||
| 196 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 197 | size="4"><i>Each time I go deeper, give just a little bit more | ||
| 198 | than I dreamed I could. It terrifies me, losing that control I've | ||
| 199 | kept wrapped so tightly shrouding my soul. And I can't explain it | ||
| 200 | but I'm drawn to what I fear most, feeding off his fire -- | ||
| 201 | feeling mine grow where only darkness existed before. I'm scared | ||
| 202 | of this ache I feel to be vulnerable. I'm terrified of being | ||
| 203 | weak. Can a strong woman give herself so utterly?<br> | ||
| 204 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 205 | |||
| 206 | <p><font | ||
| 207 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 208 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 209 | Last night I visited with Master, he required me to use third | ||
| 210 | person. I hated it. Its dehumanizing. I could not communicate, it | ||
| 211 | felt very stilted. I ended up correcting myself more than | ||
| 212 | actually speaking intelligently. It made me feel distant from | ||
| 213 | myself, as though I no longer existed. What happens if I lose | ||
| 214 | myself? I've been so worried about that lately, even more when I | ||
| 215 | realized it could actually occur.</i></font></p> | ||
| 216 | |||
| 217 | <p><font | ||
| 218 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 219 | size="4"><i>Its strange, its like what I am talking about is | ||
| 220 | almost not happening to me. I become uncomfortably aware of how | ||
| 221 | many times I refer to myself. It made my cheeks burn, realizing | ||
| 222 | how self absorbed I was, and having to pause before speaking. I | ||
| 223 | started paying attention to how others spoke in the everyday | ||
| 224 | world.</i></font></p> | ||
| 225 | |||
| 226 | <p><font | ||
| 227 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 228 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 229 | Dear Master,<br> | ||
| 230 | How do you know what exactly are my fears, Master? I am so | ||
| 231 | frightened of discovering my dark side. A dear Master once told | ||
| 232 | me that his slave and I were alike, except that she was immersed | ||
| 233 | in darkness and I was the light. (Although I never will agree | ||
| 234 | that his slave and I are remotely alike, I agree that even at the | ||
| 235 | deepest level that I have known it, my submission radiates energy | ||
| 236 | and a purity of light shining from within, never darkness). Yet | ||
| 237 | lately, just before I met you, I felt that energy change. I can | ||
| 238 | feel the darkness just beyond my reach, and that terrifies me to | ||
| 239 | know I am drawn inexplicably to its flame.</i></font></p> | ||
| 240 | |||
| 241 | <p><font | ||
| 242 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 243 | size="4"><i>I want to trust you enough to peel back my | ||
| 244 | protective shell, my layers of doubt and fear, until I am | ||
| 245 | completely exposed to you. Master, my thoughts would become your | ||
| 246 | property, as well as my heart and spirit, until I can feel us | ||
| 247 | becoming entwined as one, where there is nothing surrounding me | ||
| 248 | but you. You call it your hunger, I call it your essence, but | ||
| 249 | either way, we feed off the other's spirit, making us both | ||
| 250 | stronger than we would be alone.</i></font></p> | ||
| 251 | |||
| 252 | <p><font | ||
| 253 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 254 | size="4"><i>I look back on your card, and it sends chills deep | ||
| 255 | into my heart to know that you would guide me if I placed myself | ||
| 256 | in your hands, knowing what I need and what you hunger for and | ||
| 257 | that I could fulfill you, if only you would let me try my | ||
| 258 | hardest. I ache for you to mold me, guide me, shape me, and use | ||
| 259 | me. I can taste how badly I want that. And yet, the fear of | ||
| 260 | seeing your darkness and knowing I will be consumed by it, | ||
| 261 | wrapped so tightly in it that nothing else exists, I think of it | ||
| 262 | and sometimes cannot breathe.</i></font></p> | ||
| 263 | |||
| 264 | <p><font | ||
| 265 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 266 | size="4"><i>I want to be worthy of you. I want to endure for | ||
| 267 | you. I want to know I exist for you. I want to be completely | ||
| 268 | owned by you.</i></font></p> | ||
| 269 | |||
| 270 | <p><font | ||
| 271 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 272 | size="4"><i>Everything else is secondary.</i></font></p> | ||
| 273 | |||
| 274 | <p><font | ||
| 275 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 276 | size="4"><i>I want to fight you, scream at you, feel you push me | ||
| 277 | harder than I ever knew, and strip away everything without mercy | ||
| 278 | until I am begging just to feel you surround me, giving | ||
| 279 | everything up to surrender to you. I want it rough, aggressive | ||
| 280 | and furious, and to be able to fight it with every ounce of | ||
| 281 | strength within me, until I finally feel the serenity come. And | ||
| 282 | then, once the walls have been torn down, to reveal to you what I | ||
| 283 | am, deep down inside in my core, and that I would not have the | ||
| 284 | courage to do otherwise, hiding behind my shield.</i></font></p> | ||
| 285 | |||
| 286 | <p><font | ||
| 287 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 288 | size="4"><i>God, Master, how do I handle this?</i></font></p> | ||
| 289 | |||
| 290 | <p><font | ||
| 291 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 292 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 293 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 294 | I'm depraved.... oh lord, help me... I did things that are | ||
| 295 | unspeakable, and found joy in my shame. He called me on things | ||
| 296 | I've never permitted myself even considered, never uttered aloud. | ||
| 297 | I've found out just how low I would go to please him, and felt | ||
| 298 | him stripping my pride away. I can't even admit what I did, and | ||
| 299 | yet, I'm drenched while I'm trying not to think about it. My | ||
| 300 | body's primal response through my tearful protests... god, how I | ||
| 301 | hated him for doing this. I denied it vehemently until my body | ||
| 302 | betrayed me and I could no longer hold it inside me. I felt every | ||
| 303 | inhibition screaming as I cast them aside, acted as a beast would | ||
| 304 | out of sheer lust and desire to obey. I've never felt so out of | ||
| 305 | control, so absolutely slave to another's whim. And yet, he | ||
| 306 | treats me the same, accepts me for reacting the way I did. How | ||
| 307 | can he accept me when I won't even admit what's inside me? And | ||
| 308 | yet, I wept as I thanked him for tearing down my pride. I thanked | ||
| 309 | him for reminding me that I will do absolutely anything for him. | ||
| 310 | What have I become?<br> | ||
| 311 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 312 | |||
| 313 | <p><font | ||
| 314 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 315 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 316 | I'm beginning to love. I know he will never fall in love with | ||
| 317 | me, and it doesn't matter. All I want is to just be allowed to | ||
| 318 | love him. How can I not? How can a girl be devoted to such depth, | ||
| 319 | how can she worship without love? Please God, I don't want to | ||
| 320 | love. I don't want to be vulnerable... please spare this last | ||
| 321 | fortress of my soul. Let me find a way to worship, to give myself | ||
| 322 | so completely, but spare my heart.</i></font></p> | ||
| 323 | |||
| 324 | <p><font | ||
| 325 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 326 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 327 | Master,<br> | ||
| 328 | How did you bring me to the place you always knew I was going to | ||
| 329 | be? I didn't want to be here! I never wanted to give this much. | ||
| 330 | I'm losing the idea of "me" as an individual. It's terrifying, | ||
| 331 | all my life, I've been taught to look out for myself first. To | ||
| 332 | protect myself, and to be strong, to know what is best for me. | ||
| 333 | And now, I'm having a hard time feeling separate from you. I'm an | ||
| 334 | extension of you. Still my core, but your essence inside. | ||
| 335 | Sometimes the words coming out of my mouth are those that you | ||
| 336 | first told me, so long ago. Philosophies I argued with you for | ||
| 337 | hours, and swore you were dead wrong. And I find it occurs | ||
| 338 | usually when someone says challenges those beliefs, that I | ||
| 339 | realize I have grown to accept them as truth.</i></font></p> | ||
| 340 | |||
| 341 | <p><font | ||
| 342 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 343 | size="4"><i>I'm getting to a point of acceptance, of growth. I | ||
| 344 | feel you standing on the other side, watching me intently. When I | ||
| 345 | step forward, it will be because I simply cannot stay still, and | ||
| 346 | devotedly trusting you with no coercion except my sheer need to | ||
| 347 | be part of you. I keep lifting my foot, and pausing, putting it | ||
| 348 | down tentatively... aching to make that step. It's so close - I | ||
| 349 | feel you inside me.<br> | ||
| 350 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 351 | |||
| 352 | <p><font | ||
| 353 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 354 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 355 | I am feeling the growing pains between Master and I. Trying to | ||
| 356 | determine what I need vs what I want, what he wants and needs, | ||
| 357 | trying to obey, and be the kind of slave he wants. At times, its | ||
| 358 | so hard, but I succeed and god, my heart soars, and at times, it | ||
| 359 | seems as though I could not possibly be the one he will | ||
| 360 | ultimately own. This knowledge has broken my heart. And still, I | ||
| 361 | try harder than ever. Why don't I just walk away?</i></font></p> | ||
| 362 | |||
| 363 | <p><font | ||
| 364 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 365 | size="4"><i>My biggest fears: When I beg for his collar, he will | ||
| 366 | reject me. When I surrender everything, he will leave. I am not | ||
| 367 | the kind of slave he can own. I cannot please him due to my own | ||
| 368 | fears.</i></font></p> | ||
| 369 | |||
| 370 | <p><font | ||
| 371 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 372 | size="4"><i>But to obey and understand why and then do something | ||
| 373 | that is not for myself, but for him -- not because he tells me | ||
| 374 | to, but because I wish to please him and understand that while I | ||
| 375 | obey-- that is where my understanding of my slavery comes from. I | ||
| 376 | can rejoice in what I give. The best example I can think of is | ||
| 377 | when I bellied for him out of love. I hate to belly. I loathe the | ||
| 378 | position and its symbolism to me. But when I did that, it was a | ||
| 379 | conscious decision to do it for him... not because he said belly | ||
| 380 | for me, slave, but because I loved him so much and ached to | ||
| 381 | please him, there was no other choice. And then, god... I felt my | ||
| 382 | slavery.<br> | ||
| 383 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 384 | |||
| 385 | <p><font | ||
| 386 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 387 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 388 | They tell me there's a choice I make. A choice to give myself to | ||
| 389 | another. But I'm finding that I'm fighting this so hard, and | ||
| 390 | still unable to stop it. There is no choice... he's taking my | ||
| 391 | soul, he's slowly wrenching my heart open, I am so under that I | ||
| 392 | can't stop what's happening. And its so natural, so blissful, so | ||
| 393 | peaceful when I do give... why am I fighting it? Its like someone | ||
| 394 | is holding my head underwater, and I am powerless, thrashing | ||
| 395 | around wildly. My heart and soul burning, and suddenly, I give | ||
| 396 | in. Stop trying to control it at my own pace and letting go, and | ||
| 397 | breathing in the sweetness of the air when he lifts me back above | ||
| 398 | the surface. Each delicious inhalation of breath, suddenly more | ||
| 399 | grateful than the last, filling me with serenity.</i></font></p> | ||
| 400 | |||
| 401 | <p><font | ||
| 402 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 403 | size="4"><i>I cannot control this. I cannot control him. I | ||
| 404 | cannot control my need. There is no choice.</i></font></p> | ||
| 405 | |||
| 406 | <p><font | ||
| 407 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 408 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 409 | Master,<br> | ||
| 410 | This slave is finding a softness on the inside, something she | ||
| 411 | never knew she had. All her strength is not needed to protect | ||
| 412 | her. She's finding her vulnerability exist. And from deep | ||
| 413 | within... an inner strength, a quiet confidence, serenity, a | ||
| 414 | security in who she is and her self worth. The fight in her still | ||
| 415 | arises, but mostly when she goes deeper, and the fear kicks in. | ||
| 416 | But for the most part, its simply blissful acceptance. Can this | ||
| 417 | be what she was trying so hard to hide behind the wall of a | ||
| 418 | strong woman?<br> | ||
| 419 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 420 | |||
| 421 | <p><font | ||
| 422 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 423 | size="4"><i>Master,<br> | ||
| 424 | Your girl had a conversation with another girl about happiness. | ||
| 425 | In the context of a Master striving to make his slave happy, she | ||
| 426 | said, " I also think my happiness is important... I have a strong | ||
| 427 | desire to serve my master in everything he wants. I do everything | ||
| 428 | my master says to do and that in turn brings me | ||
| 429 | rewards."</i></font></p> | ||
| 430 | |||
| 431 | <p><font | ||
| 432 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 433 | size="4"><i>Thinking about this at length, this slave is happy, | ||
| 434 | extremely so. She just gets her happiness from being a good slave | ||
| 435 | to you, and making you happy above all else. Definitely not by | ||
| 436 | insisting a Master struggle to please her. Slavery is a bliss | ||
| 437 | that you just can't find anywhere else. In slavery, you lose the | ||
| 438 | "what's in it for 'me' if I do this" and the "well, am 'I' happy" | ||
| 439 | because for this slave, she is not as concerned with herself as | ||
| 440 | she is with us together as a unit. This slave's finally put | ||
| 441 | losing herself into words which make sense: "I lost the ME, and | ||
| 442 | became part of WE".</i></font></p> | ||
| 443 | |||
| 444 | <p><font | ||
| 445 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 446 | size="4"><i>This slave has a need to please you, Master. It's | ||
| 447 | way beyond the desire. Is that what makes slaves different? Need | ||
| 448 | versus desire? Not only does she obey what you tells her to do, | ||
| 449 | she thinks of millions of little ways to enrich your life, to let | ||
| 450 | him know how grateful she is to serve you. She takes initiative, | ||
| 451 | in knowing your preferences and pleasures, and goes above and | ||
| 452 | beyond obeying to truly satisfy you.<br> | ||
| 453 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 454 | |||
| 455 | <p><font | ||
| 456 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 457 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 458 | Someone asked this slave "would you feel less owned if your | ||
| 459 | Master decided not to use you for his sexual pleasure? Would you | ||
| 460 | still be his slave? would you still be his property? Would you | ||
| 461 | continue to serve to the best of your ability?"</i></font></p> | ||
| 462 | |||
| 463 | <p><font | ||
| 464 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 465 | size="4"><i>It hit this slave close to home, because she has | ||
| 466 | been feeling so different from everyone. She's finding that her | ||
| 467 | sexuality heightens in service, any kind of service, but it is | ||
| 468 | not the sole basis of her slavery. That she is aroused in the | ||
| 469 | mundane things, the things that are so absent in sexuality, more | ||
| 470 | of an awareness of her femininity. It accentuates her slavery, | ||
| 471 | but is one of many components. It made her question slave nature | ||
| 472 | compared to slut nature, and where does the idea of selfless | ||
| 473 | service fit into the mix. For this one, she's finding she | ||
| 474 | responds to what the man wants, be it quiet service that is not | ||
| 475 | intrusive, discussion, or sheer slut. She feeds off him, and | ||
| 476 | reacts to his actions. Is being a pleasure slave only | ||
| 477 | sexual?</i></font></p> | ||
| 478 | |||
| 479 | <p><font | ||
| 480 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 481 | size="4"><i>She did find that something occurred -- she would be | ||
| 482 | so incredibly aroused, and struggle so much to please him, | ||
| 483 | fighting back orgasms as she focused on him... and more and more | ||
| 484 | often... when he was pleased, or smiled, her soul would suddenly | ||
| 485 | relax into a peace that was better than any orgasm, and the need | ||
| 486 | to physically release melted. In fact, one time, he permitted her | ||
| 487 | to orgasm after he was pleased with something, and she blushed | ||
| 488 | and said, "this slave doesn't think she can." Her mind/emotions | ||
| 489 | exploded already, just from hearing him say "good | ||
| 490 | girl".</i></font></p> | ||
| 491 | |||
| 492 | <p><font | ||
| 493 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 494 | size="4"><i>Another reminder of the joys of slavery...<br> | ||
| 495 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 496 | |||
| 497 | <p><font | ||
| 498 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 499 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 500 | This slave used to think she craved such strictness. All the | ||
| 501 | rules would show he cared, to feel her slavery in every aspect of | ||
| 502 | her life. To test the boundaries to make sure they are | ||
| 503 | there.</i></font></p> | ||
| 504 | |||
| 505 | <p><font | ||
| 506 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 507 | size="4"><i>As we've grown, this slave's noticed that she | ||
| 508 | understands more his philosophies, and how he expects this slave | ||
| 509 | to behave. She is starting to know him well enough to read him | ||
| 510 | without words, and please him without a direct command. Working | ||
| 511 | seamlessly, in sync, evident to others as well as ourselves, it's | ||
| 512 | incredible how it feels.</i></font></p> | ||
| 513 | |||
| 514 | <p><font | ||
| 515 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 516 | size="4"><i>three rules:</i></font></p> | ||
| 517 | |||
| 518 | <p><font | ||
| 519 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 520 | size="4"><i>1. Protect Master's property<br> | ||
| 521 | 2. To obey above all else.<br> | ||
| 522 | 3. He comes first above all else.<br> | ||
| 523 | <br> | ||
| 524 | <br> | ||
| 525 | Everything else is a derivative of these rules.</i></font></p> | ||
| 526 | |||
| 527 | <p><font | ||
| 528 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 529 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 530 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 531 | A kajira asked this slave if she felt that being enslaved | ||
| 532 | involved sacrifice, and if so how. This slave replied:<br> | ||
| 533 | <br> | ||
| 534 | I sacrifice my freedom. I sacrifice my own desires, which I | ||
| 535 | never stopped having but I willingly swallow those up in order to | ||
| 536 | make his life happy the way he wants it. Doesn't mean I can't | ||
| 537 | voice them, it does mean I sacrifice the right to have | ||
| 538 | expectations of having them fulfilled. Being slave doesn't mean I | ||
| 539 | stopped being human and having desires. It just means that he | ||
| 540 | comes first in all things. That involves some sacrifice to me. I | ||
| 541 | sacrifice my sense of self identity, in order to be part of | ||
| 542 | something bigger. I sacrifice my protective walls and privacy, in | ||
| 543 | order to be completely accessible to him. I surrender this all | ||
| 544 | for the sake of his ownership.</i></font></p> | ||
| 545 | |||
| 546 | <p><font | ||
| 547 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 548 | size="4"><i>I suffer for him, I sacrifice for him. I struggle to | ||
| 549 | learn patience and grace in accepting my mistakes. I am learning | ||
| 550 | to lose the selfishness that I was taught "to look out for myself | ||
| 551 | first". And in exchange, I am given the joys of his ownership, | ||
| 552 | the incredible feeling of all that I give being worthwhile. I | ||
| 553 | give when it isn't easy for me to give, and he constantly | ||
| 554 | challenges me on that. I consider it "growing | ||
| 555 | pains".</i></font></p> | ||
| 556 | |||
| 557 | <p><font | ||
| 558 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 559 | size="4"><i>Maybe I'm not a natural slave. But I think if it | ||
| 560 | were easy, everyone would do it. And I think selfless slaves are | ||
| 561 | rare. I'm not one myself, but slowly learning and hopefully one | ||
| 562 | day I will be. Perhaps to my Master, it would not be as | ||
| 563 | meaningful if what I gave was easy to do without a second | ||
| 564 | thought.</i></font></p> | ||
| 565 | |||
| 566 | <p><font | ||
| 567 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 568 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 569 | Master,<br><A NAME="snippet"> | ||
| 570 | This slave has started to settle into the idea of it being "our | ||
| 571 | life" and by that, she means what you call "your life" and that | ||
| 572 | is such an enormous step for her. Where have I gone? It makes | ||
| 573 | this slave ache to scream to everyone that she is reaching a | ||
| 574 | depth that she never dreamed of being possible for her. That you | ||
| 575 | opened her up to realizing what she am capable of giving to | ||
| 576 | someone. And yet, at the same time-- this slave's so scared-- | ||
| 577 | your life is so blissful in its simplicity. One goal: making you | ||
| 578 | happy. One focus: You. She aches to take care of you, care for | ||
| 579 | your home with quiet pride and tender attention to detail. | ||
| 580 | Master, this slave doesn't know how to be quietly serene and | ||
| 581 | content! But it's so close under the surface, blending with her | ||
| 582 | passion and fire and leaving this one unsure of what to | ||
| 583 | do.</i></font></p> | ||
| 584 | |||
| 585 | <p><font | ||
| 586 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 587 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 588 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 589 | When this slave first met Master, he once mentioned he would | ||
| 590 | brand a girl he had owned for a significant amount of time. It | ||
| 591 | was enough to make her seriously consider not pursuing things | ||
| 592 | with him. She is the kind of girl they have to strap down just to | ||
| 593 | give blood, not known for withstanding pain. Yet, she realized | ||
| 594 | this week, she would beg to be marked in any way he would | ||
| 595 | consider, only to be worthy of bearing his mark in whatever form | ||
| 596 | it was. That she would no longer be able to say no, and would in | ||
| 597 | fact, beg for something which she cannot even imagine enduring. | ||
| 598 | This knowledge brings a girl peace. When she thinks she can give | ||
| 599 | no more, she sinks down to find a different way to let go. Her | ||
| 600 | life is his. He can do anything he wants to her.</i></font></p> | ||
| 601 | |||
| 602 | <p><font | ||
| 603 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 604 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 605 | Master,<br> | ||
| 606 | Time spent reflecting on our journey, illuminates the changes in | ||
| 607 | thoughts. Your philosophies, once so different from her own, are | ||
| 608 | now ones that she holds as truth. How she came to that | ||
| 609 | understanding, she is not sure. She is finding that her needs | ||
| 610 | tend to change as she grows, as do yours, and she is coming to | ||
| 611 | terms with the knowledge that yours come first above all else, | ||
| 612 | and she will serve just as happily regardless. Also understanding | ||
| 613 | that she is obligated, and bound by her slavery to you, to make | ||
| 614 | you aware of her needs, desires, thoughts and questions, without | ||
| 615 | expectation of reaction, until you see fit to command silence | ||
| 616 | from her.</i></font></p> | ||
| 617 | |||
| 618 | <p><font | ||
| 619 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 620 | size="4"><i>Something this slave has been aware of since she | ||
| 621 | gave herself with you, she handed you the one thing she cherished | ||
| 622 | most: her escape route. She admitted that she needs you, and | ||
| 623 | accepted the vulnerability that she exposes to you-- reveling in | ||
| 624 | the knowledge that she does absolutely trust you to do what is | ||
| 625 | best, and that she relinquishes all rights save one. You have | ||
| 626 | probed forgotten alcoves of her psyche, carefully working through | ||
| 627 | them (with incredible patience) to banish her own insecurities | ||
| 628 | and fears. For this, this slave cannot thank you enough, Master, | ||
| 629 | for in doing so you have helped her heal old wounds, and have | ||
| 630 | gained a deeper level of trust and security in knowing you know | ||
| 631 | what is best, even when she herself does not.</i></font></p> | ||
| 632 | |||
| 633 | <p><font | ||
| 634 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 635 | size="4"><i>There is something so powerful in your strength of | ||
| 636 | spirit, so much incredible respect for the man you are, the honor | ||
| 637 | you live by, the care you show for others in your life. The | ||
| 638 | knowledge that you have chosen to let this slave into your life | ||
| 639 | on whatever level leaves her heart overwhelmed with emotion. For | ||
| 640 | not only does she live to please you, you have showed her that | ||
| 641 | she truly is capable of surrendering to be the kind of slave you | ||
| 642 | need. With your guidance, instruction, command, and strength | ||
| 643 | behind her, she has accomplished things she was not able to on | ||
| 644 | her own. There is no fear, no fight. She knows she will grow as | ||
| 645 | you wish, and finds solace in her absolute trust.</i></font></p> | ||
| 646 | |||
| 647 | <p><font | ||
| 648 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 649 | size="4"><i>During the times she needed pushing, you chose to | ||
| 650 | observe without comment, ensuring she felt your presence and will | ||
| 651 | as she struggled to obey against her own wishes. During the times | ||
| 652 | she should find her own path, you forced her to stand alone, and | ||
| 653 | take tentative steps forward, naturally progressing to areas she | ||
| 654 | did not know existed before then. You watched over her, and took | ||
| 655 | care of your property, even when it was not what she directly | ||
| 656 | wanted, or felt she needed. As a result, she is deeper, more | ||
| 657 | aware and comfortable in her slavery, determined without coercion | ||
| 658 | but through careful growth. You are inside her always, your | ||
| 659 | voice, guiding her to learn to manage herself, and yet somehow, | ||
| 660 | growing more and more important in her life. You pull this slave | ||
| 661 | back from running pellmell forward into her slavery, instead, | ||
| 662 | slowly lingering along our journey as if it were a moonlit path, | ||
| 663 | pausing to inhale the sultry breezes and admire the blooms bathed | ||
| 664 | in the lights of stars. Each time this slave tries to peek at the | ||
| 665 | path ahead of us, it turns, so that she is best kept heeling at | ||
| 666 | your side with the squeeze of your hand, blindly trusting you to | ||
| 667 | guide her along to your realm. And every so often, she whispers, | ||
| 668 | "Show this one more."</i></font></p> | ||
| 669 | |||
| 670 | <p><font | ||
| 671 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 672 | size="4"><i>There is a deeper sense of spirituality that has | ||
| 673 | grown, the awareness of devoting her life in service to another. | ||
| 674 | This slave has found its not about her any more, that she is part | ||
| 675 | of something bigger... she is part of you, Master. This feeling | ||
| 676 | is everpresent in her mind and soul. Others made their slavery | ||
| 677 | look so effortless. But for this slave, each step forward is | ||
| 678 | worth much when she struggled and grew as a | ||
| 679 | result.</i></font></p> | ||
| 680 | |||
| 681 | <p><font | ||
| 682 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 683 | size="4"><i>This slave's life is yours.</i></font></p> | ||
| 684 | |||
| 685 | <p><font | ||
| 686 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 687 | size="4"><i>The words that this slave could not express the day | ||
| 688 | you took her as your property: To you, this slave promises, her | ||
| 689 | goal in life is to make yours better for having her in it. She | ||
| 690 | will obey. She will reflect well on you as your possession. She | ||
| 691 | will continually strive to ensure your happiness. There is | ||
| 692 | nothing you could not ask of this slave. She will learn humility, | ||
| 693 | and peaceful grace at your feet. She is grateful to be allowed to | ||
| 694 | kneel at the feet of men, and for the guidance she has received. | ||
| 695 | She is yours, because she cannot imagine not being | ||
| 696 | yours.</i></font></p> | ||
| 697 | |||
| 698 | <p><font | ||
| 699 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 700 | size="4"><i>She already was.</i></font></p> | ||
| 701 | |||
| 702 | <p><font | ||
| 703 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 704 | size="4"><br> | ||
| 705 | <br> | ||
| 706 | <br> | ||
| 707 | <i><b>La Kajira!</b></i></font></p> | ||
| 708 | |||
| 709 | <p><font | ||
| 710 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 711 | size="4"><br> | ||
| 712 | <font | ||
| 713 | size="2" | ||
| 714 | color="#F9F8E5"><i>All rights reserved.<br> | ||
| 715 | � Copyright 1999-2001 kaylee</i></font></font></p> | ||
| 716 | |||
| 717 | <p><font | ||
| 718 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 719 | size="4"><br> | ||
| 720 | </font></p> | ||
| 721 | |||
| 722 | <center><font | ||
| 723 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 724 | size="4"> | ||
| 725 | <!-- v- Pass-it-on Gear Code by http://htmlgear.com -v --> | ||
| 726 | |||
| 727 | <a target="PASSITON"href="http://htmlgear.tripod.com/pass/control.pass?u=kayleewench&i=3&a=render&"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/pass/pio_blue.gif" border="0"></a><BR><a href="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/specs/pass.html"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/log/pa_i_getgear.GIF" alt="get this gear!" border="0"></a></a> | ||
| 728 | <!-- ^- End Pass-it-on Gear Code -^ --> | ||
| 729 | |||
| 730 | <br> | ||
| 731 | <br> | ||
| 732 | <br> | ||
| 733 | <br> | ||
| 734 | <br> | ||
| 735 | <br> | ||
| 736 | </font></p> | ||
| 737 | |||
| 738 | <center><font | ||
| 739 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 740 | size="4"><a | ||
| 741 | href="kayindex.htm"><img | ||
| 742 | border="0" | ||
| 743 | src="images/kaylee/boundhomebutton.jpg" | ||
| 744 | alt="kaylee's Sanctuary"></a><br> | ||
| 745 | <br> | ||
| 746 | <a | ||
| 747 | href="essayindex.htm"><img | ||
| 748 | border="0" | ||
| 749 | src="images/kaylee/boundgoebutton.jpg" | ||
| 750 | alt="Gor on Earth Index"></a><br> | ||
| 751 | <br> | ||
| 752 | <br> | ||
| 753 | <br> | ||
| 754 | <br> | ||
| 755 | <br> | ||
| 756 | <font | ||
| 757 | size="2"><i>Digital Imagery� copyright 2001 PhotoDisc, Inc. Used | ||
| 758 | with permission.<br> | ||
| 759 | web page design by kaylee� copyright 2001<br> | ||
| 760 | </i></font><br> | ||
| 761 | <br> | ||
| 762 | </font></center> | ||
| 763 | </align> | ||
| 764 | </noscript></font></center> | ||
| 765 | </blockquote> | ||
| 766 | </td> | ||
| 767 | </tr> | ||
| 768 | </table> | ||
| 769 | </body> | ||
| 770 | </html> | ||
| 771 | |||
| 1 | <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> | ||
| 2 | <html> | ||
| 3 | <head> | ||
| 4 | <meta | ||
| 5 | name="generator" | ||
| 6 | content="HTML Tidy, see www.w3.org"> | ||
| 7 | <title></title> | ||
| 8 | <title>Gor on Earth</title> | ||
| 9 | </head> | ||
| 10 | <body | ||
| 11 | background="/images/kaylee/boundhands.jpg" | ||
| 12 | bgproperties="fixed" | ||
| 13 | link="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 14 | vlink="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 15 | alink="#F9F8E5"> | ||
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| 18 | size="4"> | ||
| 19 | <script | ||
| 20 | type="text/javascript" | ||
| 21 | language="JavaScript"> | ||
| 22 | <!-- | ||
| 23 | // No rightclick script | ||
| 24 | // � 2001 `kaylee | ||
| 25 | function click() { | ||
| 26 | if (event.button==2) { | ||
| 27 | alert('If this essay touched your heart and you would like to send it to someone else, please feel free to send them the site address. There are links located at the top AND bottom of the page designed to help you with that, and it only takes a moment to fill out. But please, do not copy some of my most intimate thoughts and repost them as your own, or republish this essay without my permission. This work is protected by copyright �kaylee{G} 2001. All Rights Reserved. '); | ||
| 28 | } | ||
| 29 | } | ||
| 30 | document.onmousedown=click | ||
| 31 | // --> | ||
| 32 | </script> | ||
| 33 | |||
| 34 | <table | ||
| 35 | width="85%" | ||
| 36 | align="right"> | ||
| 37 | <tr> | ||
| 38 | <td></td> | ||
| 39 | </tr> | ||
| 40 | |||
| 41 | <tr> | ||
| 42 | <td | ||
| 43 | valign="top"> | ||
| 44 | <blockquote><br> | ||
| 45 | <br> | ||
| 46 | <center><!-- v- Pass-it-on Gear Code by http://htmlgear.com -v --> | ||
| 47 | |||
| 48 | <a target="PASSITON"href="http://htmlgear.tripod.com/pass/control.pass?u=kayleewench&i=3&a=render&"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/pass/pio_blue.gif" border="0"></a><BR><a href="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/specs/pass.html"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/log/pa_i_getgear.GIF" alt="get this gear!" border="0"></a></a> | ||
| 49 | <!-- ^- End Pass-it-on Gear Code -^ --> | ||
| 50 | |||
| 51 | |||
| 52 | |||
| 53 | |||
| 54 | <noscript><a | ||
| 55 | href= | ||
| 56 | "http://htmlgear.lycos.com/pass/control.pass?u=kayleewench&i=3&a=render&" | ||
| 57 | target="RESULTS">Email this to a friend.</a><a | ||
| 58 | href="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/specs/pass.html"><img | ||
| 59 | align="middle" | ||
| 60 | border="0" | ||
| 61 | width="16" | ||
| 62 | height="14" | ||
| 63 | src= | ||
| 64 | "http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/log/pa_i_gear.GIF"></a></noscript> | ||
| 65 | <!-- ^- End pass-it-onGEAR Code -^ --><br> | ||
| 66 | <br> | ||
| 67 | <img | ||
| 68 | src="images/kaylee/lakajira.jpg"></center> | ||
| 69 | |||
| 70 | <br> | ||
| 71 | <br> | ||
| 72 | <font | ||
| 73 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 74 | size="4"><i>Master,<br> | ||
| 75 | Your girl went to bed last night with one thought in mind, a | ||
| 76 | prayer said silently to grant this one grace and quiet poise to | ||
| 77 | balance her wanton slavefire and passion, to know that she moves | ||
| 78 | and responds in manners that brings you pride, love, and | ||
| 79 | happiness in your possession. Looking back, as milestones in our | ||
| 80 | life often prompt us to do, this one considered the sweet irony | ||
| 81 | of our first encounters, and her own naivet� in regards to our | ||
| 82 | growth together for so long. It is our journey, our growth, our | ||
| 83 | life that has changed so much, starting off with no expectations, | ||
| 84 | and steadily growing to a point where the emotion binds this girl | ||
| 85 | to your will, your soul as no other ever has. This slave doesn't | ||
| 86 | even know all that she is capable of giving-- she has grown so | ||
| 87 | much throughout her enslavement. Looking back through her most | ||
| 88 | intimate moments recorded in the diary of a slave, she realises | ||
| 89 | that this is the journey of discovery what being a slave truly | ||
| 90 | means to her.</i></font> | ||
| 91 | |||
| 92 | <p><font | ||
| 93 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 94 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 95 | <br> | ||
| 96 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 97 | |||
| 98 | <center><font | ||
| 99 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 100 | size="4"><i><img | ||
| 101 | src="images/kaylee/boundbar.jpg"></i></font></center> | ||
| 102 | |||
| 103 | <font | ||
| 104 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 105 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 106 | <br> | ||
| 107 | Dear diary,<br> | ||
| 108 | Tonight I uttered words that I once swore would never cross my | ||
| 109 | lips. I did not realise that I was saying it until I did and my | ||
| 110 | shock was evident. When the sweet burning inside me wrenched open | ||
| 111 | my pride, and I could no longer hold it in, I whispered "slave". | ||
| 112 | That's all. One sigh, one word which changed me so. Because he | ||
| 113 | stopped, and asked me if I knew what I said, and I could only | ||
| 114 | nod, tears swimming in tears of joy. I felt oddly peaceful, and | ||
| 115 | yet, my blood was rushing so loudly, I was sure he could hear it. | ||
| 116 | Why did I fear it so? What does it mean?</i></font> | ||
| 117 | |||
| 118 | <p><font | ||
| 119 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 120 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 121 | Dear diary,<br> | ||
| 122 | I used to think that slaves had no opinions, no minds of their | ||
| 123 | own, no strength. A lot of the ones I talk to are looking for | ||
| 124 | someone to make their decisions for them. I've seen Masters get | ||
| 125 | called on their cell phone every hour, because the girls need | ||
| 126 | permission for even the little things, long distance. Maybe what | ||
| 127 | I've feeling isn't slavery. I'm feeling more free, not | ||
| 128 | restricted. My mind seems to work more, examine myself and his | ||
| 129 | views even more now. I want to be proactive and know him so well, | ||
| 130 | I obey instinctively, not because I have lists and lists of | ||
| 131 | rules. What happens if I get caught in a situation where the | ||
| 132 | rules don't apply, and I cannot think about what he'd want me to | ||
| 133 | do? I'd love to know what he expects or enjoys, and make my | ||
| 134 | decisions with that foremost in mind, or to be trained so well, | ||
| 135 | that words aren't necessary.</i></font></p> | ||
| 136 | |||
| 137 | <p><font | ||
| 138 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 139 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 140 | Dear diary,<br> | ||
| 141 | A Master asked me today to describe why I felt I was a slave, | ||
| 142 | and I gave it much thought before sending him a letter. I wrote | ||
| 143 | him, "I am a slave, to deny myself the pleasure of surrender | ||
| 144 | would be the same as denying any other aspect of my nature. This | ||
| 145 | is not a role, or a mask I can don at will. It is a flame within | ||
| 146 | my slave heart that endures, be it engulfing me with desire or | ||
| 147 | burning steadily in tranquility. It is me.</i></font></p> | ||
| 148 | |||
| 149 | <p><font | ||
| 150 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 151 | size="4"><i>So why do I feel this need to embrace this | ||
| 152 | lifestyle? Without my surrender, without the ebb and flow of | ||
| 153 | power exchange to tantalize me, without the undying ache to | ||
| 154 | remind me of my slave soul, without the growth and constant | ||
| 155 | redefining of my fears and personal limits, my life is not | ||
| 156 | complete, but merely a shell of my potential. Once having tasted | ||
| 157 | the completion, the serenity of true total surrender, how can I | ||
| 158 | seek anything less?</i></font></p> | ||
| 159 | |||
| 160 | <p><font | ||
| 161 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 162 | size="4"><i>To be owned, to reveal my soul slowly, peeling back | ||
| 163 | layers until I am exposed to another, to intertwine so seamlessly | ||
| 164 | with another that I can no longer remember where I stop and he | ||
| 165 | starts, to be taken to the edge in trust and feel the adrenalin | ||
| 166 | course through me, to reach limits and heights I never thought | ||
| 167 | possible on my own, yet eagerly strive to reach for another's | ||
| 168 | pleasure... it is these aspects that I cannot live | ||
| 169 | without."</i></font></p> | ||
| 170 | |||
| 171 | <p><font | ||
| 172 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 173 | size="4"><i>Why did I open up to a stranger, based on a few | ||
| 174 | short words with him? I'm not sure, but now I can't help but | ||
| 175 | wonder if being this open to a man is a risk. He affects me, | ||
| 176 | although I try not to let it catch me off guard. I'm stronger | ||
| 177 | than that.</i></font></p> | ||
| 178 | |||
| 179 | <p><font | ||
| 180 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 181 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 182 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 183 | Sometimes I wonder if he knows what exactly is going on inside | ||
| 184 | my head? I watch other girls, so peaceful, so serene in their | ||
| 185 | slavery, giving up everything so easily... and yet... I am | ||
| 186 | fighting this every inch. I am a strong slave, assertive in | ||
| 187 | nature and self confident in my worth. With every level I sink | ||
| 188 | lower into my surrender, I fight it internally, struggling to | ||
| 189 | maintain the last shreds of self control until at last I cannot | ||
| 190 | hold back any longer and let go completely. When not controlled, | ||
| 191 | I seize control. Is it me? Am I just too stubborn to give to that | ||
| 192 | depth that I crave? I told him, "I am strong, a Man must be | ||
| 193 | stronger..."</i></font></p> | ||
| 194 | |||
| 195 | <p><font | ||
| 196 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 197 | size="4"><i>Each time I go deeper, give just a little bit more | ||
| 198 | than I dreamed I could. It terrifies me, losing that control I've | ||
| 199 | kept wrapped so tightly shrouding my soul. And I can't explain it | ||
| 200 | but I'm drawn to what I fear most, feeding off his fire -- | ||
| 201 | feeling mine grow where only darkness existed before. I'm scared | ||
| 202 | of this ache I feel to be vulnerable. I'm terrified of being | ||
| 203 | weak. Can a strong woman give herself so utterly?<br> | ||
| 204 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 205 | |||
| 206 | <p><font | ||
| 207 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 208 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 209 | Last night I visited with Master, he required me to use third | ||
| 210 | person. I hated it. Its dehumanizing. I could not communicate, it | ||
| 211 | felt very stilted. I ended up correcting myself more than | ||
| 212 | actually speaking intelligently. It made me feel distant from | ||
| 213 | myself, as though I no longer existed. What happens if I lose | ||
| 214 | myself? I've been so worried about that lately, even more when I | ||
| 215 | realized it could actually occur.</i></font></p> | ||
| 216 | |||
| 217 | <p><font | ||
| 218 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 219 | size="4"><i>Its strange, its like what I am talking about is | ||
| 220 | almost not happening to me. I become uncomfortably aware of how | ||
| 221 | many times I refer to myself. It made my cheeks burn, realizing | ||
| 222 | how self absorbed I was, and having to pause before speaking. I | ||
| 223 | started paying attention to how others spoke in the everyday | ||
| 224 | world.</i></font></p> | ||
| 225 | |||
| 226 | <p><font | ||
| 227 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 228 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 229 | Dear Master,<br> | ||
| 230 | How do you know what exactly are my fears, Master? I am so | ||
| 231 | frightened of discovering my dark side. A dear Master once told | ||
| 232 | me that his slave and I were alike, except that she was immersed | ||
| 233 | in darkness and I was the light. (Although I never will agree | ||
| 234 | that his slave and I are remotely alike, I agree that even at the | ||
| 235 | deepest level that I have known it, my submission radiates energy | ||
| 236 | and a purity of light shining from within, never darkness). Yet | ||
| 237 | lately, just before I met you, I felt that energy change. I can | ||
| 238 | feel the darkness just beyond my reach, and that terrifies me to | ||
| 239 | know I am drawn inexplicably to its flame.</i></font></p> | ||
| 240 | |||
| 241 | <p><font | ||
| 242 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 243 | size="4"><i>I want to trust you enough to peel back my | ||
| 244 | protective shell, my layers of doubt and fear, until I am | ||
| 245 | completely exposed to you. Master, my thoughts would become your | ||
| 246 | property, as well as my heart and spirit, until I can feel us | ||
| 247 | becoming entwined as one, where there is nothing surrounding me | ||
| 248 | but you. You call it your hunger, I call it your essence, but | ||
| 249 | either way, we feed off the other's spirit, making us both | ||
| 250 | stronger than we would be alone.</i></font></p> | ||
| 251 | |||
| 252 | <p><font | ||
| 253 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 254 | size="4"><i>I look back on your card, and it sends chills deep | ||
| 255 | into my heart to know that you would guide me if I placed myself | ||
| 256 | in your hands, knowing what I need and what you hunger for and | ||
| 257 | that I could fulfill you, if only you would let me try my | ||
| 258 | hardest. I ache for you to mold me, guide me, shape me, and use | ||
| 259 | me. I can taste how badly I want that. And yet, the fear of | ||
| 260 | seeing your darkness and knowing I will be consumed by it, | ||
| 261 | wrapped so tightly in it that nothing else exists, I think of it | ||
| 262 | and sometimes cannot breathe.</i></font></p> | ||
| 263 | |||
| 264 | <p><font | ||
| 265 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 266 | size="4"><i>I want to be worthy of you. I want to endure for | ||
| 267 | you. I want to know I exist for you. I want to be completely | ||
| 268 | owned by you.</i></font></p> | ||
| 269 | |||
| 270 | <p><font | ||
| 271 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 272 | size="4"><i>Everything else is secondary.</i></font></p> | ||
| 273 | |||
| 274 | <p><font | ||
| 275 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 276 | size="4"><i>I want to fight you, scream at you, feel you push me | ||
| 277 | harder than I ever knew, and strip away everything without mercy | ||
| 278 | until I am begging just to feel you surround me, giving | ||
| 279 | everything up to surrender to you. I want it rough, aggressive | ||
| 280 | and furious, and to be able to fight it with every ounce of | ||
| 281 | strength within me, until I finally feel the serenity come. And | ||
| 282 | then, once the walls have been torn down, to reveal to you what I | ||
| 283 | am, deep down inside in my core, and that I would not have the | ||
| 284 | courage to do otherwise, hiding behind my shield.</i></font></p> | ||
| 285 | |||
| 286 | <p><font | ||
| 287 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 288 | size="4"><i>God, Master, how do I handle this?</i></font></p> | ||
| 289 | |||
| 290 | <p><font | ||
| 291 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 292 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 293 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 294 | I'm depraved.... oh lord, help me... I did things that are | ||
| 295 | unspeakable, and found joy in my shame. He called me on things | ||
| 296 | I've never permitted myself even considered, never uttered aloud. | ||
| 297 | I've found out just how low I would go to please him, and felt | ||
| 298 | him stripping my pride away. I can't even admit what I did, and | ||
| 299 | yet, I'm drenched while I'm trying not to think about it. My | ||
| 300 | body's primal response through my tearful protests... god, how I | ||
| 301 | hated him for doing this. I denied it vehemently until my body | ||
| 302 | betrayed me and I could no longer hold it inside me. I felt every | ||
| 303 | inhibition screaming as I cast them aside, acted as a beast would | ||
| 304 | out of sheer lust and desire to obey. I've never felt so out of | ||
| 305 | control, so absolutely slave to another's whim. And yet, he | ||
| 306 | treats me the same, accepts me for reacting the way I did. How | ||
| 307 | can he accept me when I won't even admit what's inside me? And | ||
| 308 | yet, I wept as I thanked him for tearing down my pride. I thanked | ||
| 309 | him for reminding me that I will do absolutely anything for him. | ||
| 310 | What have I become?<br> | ||
| 311 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 312 | |||
| 313 | <p><font | ||
| 314 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 315 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 316 | I'm beginning to love. I know he will never fall in love with | ||
| 317 | me, and it doesn't matter. All I want is to just be allowed to | ||
| 318 | love him. How can I not? How can a girl be devoted to such depth, | ||
| 319 | how can she worship without love? Please God, I don't want to | ||
| 320 | love. I don't want to be vulnerable... please spare this last | ||
| 321 | fortress of my soul. Let me find a way to worship, to give myself | ||
| 322 | so completely, but spare my heart.</i></font></p> | ||
| 323 | |||
| 324 | <p><font | ||
| 325 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 326 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 327 | Master,<br> | ||
| 328 | How did you bring me to the place you always knew I was going to | ||
| 329 | be? I didn't want to be here! I never wanted to give this much. | ||
| 330 | I'm losing the idea of "me" as an individual. It's terrifying, | ||
| 331 | all my life, I've been taught to look out for myself first. To | ||
| 332 | protect myself, and to be strong, to know what is best for me. | ||
| 333 | And now, I'm having a hard time feeling separate from you. I'm an | ||
| 334 | extension of you. Still my core, but your essence inside. | ||
| 335 | Sometimes the words coming out of my mouth are those that you | ||
| 336 | first told me, so long ago. Philosophies I argued with you for | ||
| 337 | hours, and swore you were dead wrong. And I find it occurs | ||
| 338 | usually when someone says challenges those beliefs, that I | ||
| 339 | realize I have grown to accept them as truth.</i></font></p> | ||
| 340 | |||
| 341 | <p><font | ||
| 342 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 343 | size="4"><i>I'm getting to a point of acceptance, of growth. I | ||
| 344 | feel you standing on the other side, watching me intently. When I | ||
| 345 | step forward, it will be because I simply cannot stay still, and | ||
| 346 | devotedly trusting you with no coercion except my sheer need to | ||
| 347 | be part of you. I keep lifting my foot, and pausing, putting it | ||
| 348 | down tentatively... aching to make that step. It's so close - I | ||
| 349 | feel you inside me.<br> | ||
| 350 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 351 | |||
| 352 | <p><font | ||
| 353 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 354 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 355 | I am feeling the growing pains between Master and I. Trying to | ||
| 356 | determine what I need vs what I want, what he wants and needs, | ||
| 357 | trying to obey, and be the kind of slave he wants. At times, its | ||
| 358 | so hard, but I succeed and god, my heart soars, and at times, it | ||
| 359 | seems as though I could not possibly be the one he will | ||
| 360 | ultimately own. This knowledge has broken my heart. And still, I | ||
| 361 | try harder than ever. Why don't I just walk away?</i></font></p> | ||
| 362 | |||
| 363 | <p><font | ||
| 364 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 365 | size="4"><i>My biggest fears: When I beg for his collar, he will | ||
| 366 | reject me. When I surrender everything, he will leave. I am not | ||
| 367 | the kind of slave he can own. I cannot please him due to my own | ||
| 368 | fears.</i></font></p> | ||
| 369 | |||
| 370 | <p><font | ||
| 371 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 372 | size="4"><i>But to obey and understand why and then do something | ||
| 373 | that is not for myself, but for him -- not because he tells me | ||
| 374 | to, but because I wish to please him and understand that while I | ||
| 375 | obey-- that is where my understanding of my slavery comes from. I | ||
| 376 | can rejoice in what I give. The best example I can think of is | ||
| 377 | when I bellied for him out of love. I hate to belly. I loathe the | ||
| 378 | position and its symbolism to me. But when I did that, it was a | ||
| 379 | conscious decision to do it for him... not because he said belly | ||
| 380 | for me, slave, but because I loved him so much and ached to | ||
| 381 | please him, there was no other choice. And then, god... I felt my | ||
| 382 | slavery.<br> | ||
| 383 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 384 | |||
| 385 | <p><font | ||
| 386 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 387 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 388 | They tell me there's a choice I make. A choice to give myself to | ||
| 389 | another. But I'm finding that I'm fighting this so hard, and | ||
| 390 | still unable to stop it. There is no choice... he's taking my | ||
| 391 | soul, he's slowly wrenching my heart open, I am so under that I | ||
| 392 | can't stop what's happening. And its so natural, so blissful, so | ||
| 393 | peaceful when I do give... why am I fighting it? Its like someone | ||
| 394 | is holding my head underwater, and I am powerless, thrashing | ||
| 395 | around wildly. My heart and soul burning, and suddenly, I give | ||
| 396 | in. Stop trying to control it at my own pace and letting go, and | ||
| 397 | breathing in the sweetness of the air when he lifts me back above | ||
| 398 | the surface. Each delicious inhalation of breath, suddenly more | ||
| 399 | grateful than the last, filling me with serenity.</i></font></p> | ||
| 400 | |||
| 401 | <p><font | ||
| 402 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 403 | size="4"><i>I cannot control this. I cannot control him. I | ||
| 404 | cannot control my need. There is no choice.</i></font></p> | ||
| 405 | |||
| 406 | <p><font | ||
| 407 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 408 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 409 | Master,<br> | ||
| 410 | This slave is finding a softness on the inside, something she | ||
| 411 | never knew she had. All her strength is not needed to protect | ||
| 412 | her. She's finding her vulnerability exist. And from deep | ||
| 413 | within... an inner strength, a quiet confidence, serenity, a | ||
| 414 | security in who she is and her self worth. The fight in her still | ||
| 415 | arises, but mostly when she goes deeper, and the fear kicks in. | ||
| 416 | But for the most part, its simply blissful acceptance. Can this | ||
| 417 | be what she was trying so hard to hide behind the wall of a | ||
| 418 | strong woman?<br> | ||
| 419 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 420 | |||
| 421 | <p><font | ||
| 422 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 423 | size="4"><i>Master,<br> | ||
| 424 | Your girl had a conversation with another girl about happiness. | ||
| 425 | In the context of a Master striving to make his slave happy, she | ||
| 426 | said, " I also think my happiness is important... I have a strong | ||
| 427 | desire to serve my master in everything he wants. I do everything | ||
| 428 | my master says to do and that in turn brings me | ||
| 429 | rewards."</i></font></p> | ||
| 430 | |||
| 431 | <p><font | ||
| 432 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 433 | size="4"><i>Thinking about this at length, this slave is happy, | ||
| 434 | extremely so. She just gets her happiness from being a good slave | ||
| 435 | to you, and making you happy above all else. Definitely not by | ||
| 436 | insisting a Master struggle to please her. Slavery is a bliss | ||
| 437 | that you just can't find anywhere else. In slavery, you lose the | ||
| 438 | "what's in it for 'me' if I do this" and the "well, am 'I' happy" | ||
| 439 | because for this slave, she is not as concerned with herself as | ||
| 440 | she is with us together as a unit. This slave's finally put | ||
| 441 | losing herself into words which make sense: "I lost the ME, and | ||
| 442 | became part of WE".</i></font></p> | ||
| 443 | |||
| 444 | <p><font | ||
| 445 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 446 | size="4"><i>This slave has a need to please you, Master. It's | ||
| 447 | way beyond the desire. Is that what makes slaves different? Need | ||
| 448 | versus desire? Not only does she obey what you tells her to do, | ||
| 449 | she thinks of millions of little ways to enrich your life, to let | ||
| 450 | him know how grateful she is to serve you. She takes initiative, | ||
| 451 | in knowing your preferences and pleasures, and goes above and | ||
| 452 | beyond obeying to truly satisfy you.<br> | ||
| 453 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 454 | |||
| 455 | <p><font | ||
| 456 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 457 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 458 | Someone asked this slave "would you feel less owned if your | ||
| 459 | Master decided not to use you for his sexual pleasure? Would you | ||
| 460 | still be his slave? would you still be his property? Would you | ||
| 461 | continue to serve to the best of your ability?"</i></font></p> | ||
| 462 | |||
| 463 | <p><font | ||
| 464 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 465 | size="4"><i>It hit this slave close to home, because she has | ||
| 466 | been feeling so different from everyone. She's finding that her | ||
| 467 | sexuality heightens in service, any kind of service, but it is | ||
| 468 | not the sole basis of her slavery. That she is aroused in the | ||
| 469 | mundane things, the things that are so absent in sexuality, more | ||
| 470 | of an awareness of her femininity. It accentuates her slavery, | ||
| 471 | but is one of many components. It made her question slave nature | ||
| 472 | compared to slut nature, and where does the idea of selfless | ||
| 473 | service fit into the mix. For this one, she's finding she | ||
| 474 | responds to what the man wants, be it quiet service that is not | ||
| 475 | intrusive, discussion, or sheer slut. She feeds off him, and | ||
| 476 | reacts to his actions. Is being a pleasure slave only | ||
| 477 | sexual?</i></font></p> | ||
| 478 | |||
| 479 | <p><font | ||
| 480 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 481 | size="4"><i>She did find that something occurred -- she would be | ||
| 482 | so incredibly aroused, and struggle so much to please him, | ||
| 483 | fighting back orgasms as she focused on him... and more and more | ||
| 484 | often... when he was pleased, or smiled, her soul would suddenly | ||
| 485 | relax into a peace that was better than any orgasm, and the need | ||
| 486 | to physically release melted. In fact, one time, he permitted her | ||
| 487 | to orgasm after he was pleased with something, and she blushed | ||
| 488 | and said, "this slave doesn't think she can." Her mind/emotions | ||
| 489 | exploded already, just from hearing him say "good | ||
| 490 | girl".</i></font></p> | ||
| 491 | |||
| 492 | <p><font | ||
| 493 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 494 | size="4"><i>Another reminder of the joys of slavery...<br> | ||
| 495 | </i></font></p> | ||
| 496 | |||
| 497 | <p><font | ||
| 498 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 499 | size="4"><i>Diary,<br> | ||
| 500 | This slave used to think she craved such strictness. All the | ||
| 501 | rules would show he cared, to feel her slavery in every aspect of | ||
| 502 | her life. To test the boundaries to make sure they are | ||
| 503 | there.</i></font></p> | ||
| 504 | |||
| 505 | <p><font | ||
| 506 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 507 | size="4"><i>As we've grown, this slave's noticed that she | ||
| 508 | understands more his philosophies, and how he expects this slave | ||
| 509 | to behave. She is starting to know him well enough to read him | ||
| 510 | without words, and please him without a direct command. Working | ||
| 511 | seamlessly, in sync, evident to others as well as ourselves, it's | ||
| 512 | incredible how it feels.</i></font></p> | ||
| 513 | |||
| 514 | <p><font | ||
| 515 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 516 | size="4"><i>three rules:</i></font></p> | ||
| 517 | |||
| 518 | <p><font | ||
| 519 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 520 | size="4"><i>1. Protect Master's property<br> | ||
| 521 | 2. To obey above all else.<br> | ||
| 522 | 3. He comes first above all else.<br> | ||
| 523 | <br> | ||
| 524 | <br> | ||
| 525 | Everything else is a derivative of these rules.</i></font></p> | ||
| 526 | |||
| 527 | <p><font | ||
| 528 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 529 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 530 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 531 | A kajira asked this slave if she felt that being enslaved | ||
| 532 | involved sacrifice, and if so how. This slave replied:<br> | ||
| 533 | <br> | ||
| 534 | I sacrifice my freedom. I sacrifice my own desires, which I | ||
| 535 | never stopped having but I willingly swallow those up in order to | ||
| 536 | make his life happy the way he wants it. Doesn't mean I can't | ||
| 537 | voice them, it does mean I sacrifice the right to have | ||
| 538 | expectations of having them fulfilled. Being slave doesn't mean I | ||
| 539 | stopped being human and having desires. It just means that he | ||
| 540 | comes first in all things. That involves some sacrifice to me. I | ||
| 541 | sacrifice my sense of self identity, in order to be part of | ||
| 542 | something bigger. I sacrifice my protective walls and privacy, in | ||
| 543 | order to be completely accessible to him. I surrender this all | ||
| 544 | for the sake of his ownership.</i></font></p> | ||
| 545 | |||
| 546 | <p><font | ||
| 547 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 548 | size="4"><i>I suffer for him, I sacrifice for him. I struggle to | ||
| 549 | learn patience and grace in accepting my mistakes. I am learning | ||
| 550 | to lose the selfishness that I was taught "to look out for myself | ||
| 551 | first". And in exchange, I am given the joys of his ownership, | ||
| 552 | the incredible feeling of all that I give being worthwhile. I | ||
| 553 | give when it isn't easy for me to give, and he constantly | ||
| 554 | challenges me on that. I consider it "growing | ||
| 555 | pains".</i></font></p> | ||
| 556 | |||
| 557 | <p><font | ||
| 558 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 559 | size="4"><i>Maybe I'm not a natural slave. But I think if it | ||
| 560 | were easy, everyone would do it. And I think selfless slaves are | ||
| 561 | rare. I'm not one myself, but slowly learning and hopefully one | ||
| 562 | day I will be. Perhaps to my Master, it would not be as | ||
| 563 | meaningful if what I gave was easy to do without a second | ||
| 564 | thought.</i></font></p> | ||
| 565 | |||
| 566 | <p><font | ||
| 567 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 568 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 569 | Master,<br><A NAME="snippet"> | ||
| 570 | This slave has started to settle into the idea of it being "our | ||
| 571 | life" and by that, she means what you call "your life" and that | ||
| 572 | is such an enormous step for her. Where have I gone? It makes | ||
| 573 | this slave ache to scream to everyone that she is reaching a | ||
| 574 | depth that she never dreamed of being possible for her. That you | ||
| 575 | opened her up to realizing what she am capable of giving to | ||
| 576 | someone. And yet, at the same time-- this slave's so scared-- | ||
| 577 | your life is so blissful in its simplicity. One goal: making you | ||
| 578 | happy. One focus: You. She aches to take care of you, care for | ||
| 579 | your home with quiet pride and tender attention to detail. | ||
| 580 | Master, this slave doesn't know how to be quietly serene and | ||
| 581 | content! But it's so close under the surface, blending with her | ||
| 582 | passion and fire and leaving this one unsure of what to | ||
| 583 | do.</i></font></p> | ||
| 584 | |||
| 585 | <p><font | ||
| 586 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 587 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 588 | Diary,<br> | ||
| 589 | When this slave first met Master, he once mentioned he would | ||
| 590 | brand a girl he had owned for a significant amount of time. It | ||
| 591 | was enough to make her seriously consider not pursuing things | ||
| 592 | with him. She is the kind of girl they have to strap down just to | ||
| 593 | give blood, not known for withstanding pain. Yet, she realized | ||
| 594 | this week, she would beg to be marked in any way he would | ||
| 595 | consider, only to be worthy of bearing his mark in whatever form | ||
| 596 | it was. That she would no longer be able to say no, and would in | ||
| 597 | fact, beg for something which she cannot even imagine enduring. | ||
| 598 | This knowledge brings a girl peace. When she thinks she can give | ||
| 599 | no more, she sinks down to find a different way to let go. Her | ||
| 600 | life is his. He can do anything he wants to her.</i></font></p> | ||
| 601 | |||
| 602 | <p><font | ||
| 603 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 604 | size="4"><i><br> | ||
| 605 | Master,<br> | ||
| 606 | Time spent reflecting on our journey, illuminates the changes in | ||
| 607 | thoughts. Your philosophies, once so different from her own, are | ||
| 608 | now ones that she holds as truth. How she came to that | ||
| 609 | understanding, she is not sure. She is finding that her needs | ||
| 610 | tend to change as she grows, as do yours, and she is coming to | ||
| 611 | terms with the knowledge that yours come first above all else, | ||
| 612 | and she will serve just as happily regardless. Also understanding | ||
| 613 | that she is obligated, and bound by her slavery to you, to make | ||
| 614 | you aware of her needs, desires, thoughts and questions, without | ||
| 615 | expectation of reaction, until you see fit to command silence | ||
| 616 | from her.</i></font></p> | ||
| 617 | |||
| 618 | <p><font | ||
| 619 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 620 | size="4"><i>Something this slave has been aware of since she | ||
| 621 | gave herself with you, she handed you the one thing she cherished | ||
| 622 | most: her escape route. She admitted that she needs you, and | ||
| 623 | accepted the vulnerability that she exposes to you-- reveling in | ||
| 624 | the knowledge that she does absolutely trust you to do what is | ||
| 625 | best, and that she relinquishes all rights save one. You have | ||
| 626 | probed forgotten alcoves of her psyche, carefully working through | ||
| 627 | them (with incredible patience) to banish her own insecurities | ||
| 628 | and fears. For this, this slave cannot thank you enough, Master, | ||
| 629 | for in doing so you have helped her heal old wounds, and have | ||
| 630 | gained a deeper level of trust and security in knowing you know | ||
| 631 | what is best, even when she herself does not.</i></font></p> | ||
| 632 | |||
| 633 | <p><font | ||
| 634 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 635 | size="4"><i>There is something so powerful in your strength of | ||
| 636 | spirit, so much incredible respect for the man you are, the honor | ||
| 637 | you live by, the care you show for others in your life. The | ||
| 638 | knowledge that you have chosen to let this slave into your life | ||
| 639 | on whatever level leaves her heart overwhelmed with emotion. For | ||
| 640 | not only does she live to please you, you have showed her that | ||
| 641 | she truly is capable of surrendering to be the kind of slave you | ||
| 642 | need. With your guidance, instruction, command, and strength | ||
| 643 | behind her, she has accomplished things she was not able to on | ||
| 644 | her own. There is no fear, no fight. She knows she will grow as | ||
| 645 | you wish, and finds solace in her absolute trust.</i></font></p> | ||
| 646 | |||
| 647 | <p><font | ||
| 648 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 649 | size="4"><i>During the times she needed pushing, you chose to | ||
| 650 | observe without comment, ensuring she felt your presence and will | ||
| 651 | as she struggled to obey against her own wishes. During the times | ||
| 652 | she should find her own path, you forced her to stand alone, and | ||
| 653 | take tentative steps forward, naturally progressing to areas she | ||
| 654 | did not know existed before then. You watched over her, and took | ||
| 655 | care of your property, even when it was not what she directly | ||
| 656 | wanted, or felt she needed. As a result, she is deeper, more | ||
| 657 | aware and comfortable in her slavery, determined without coercion | ||
| 658 | but through careful growth. You are inside her always, your | ||
| 659 | voice, guiding her to learn to manage herself, and yet somehow, | ||
| 660 | growing more and more important in her life. You pull this slave | ||
| 661 | back from running pellmell forward into her slavery, instead, | ||
| 662 | slowly lingering along our journey as if it were a moonlit path, | ||
| 663 | pausing to inhale the sultry breezes and admire the blooms bathed | ||
| 664 | in the lights of stars. Each time this slave tries to peek at the | ||
| 665 | path ahead of us, it turns, so that she is best kept heeling at | ||
| 666 | your side with the squeeze of your hand, blindly trusting you to | ||
| 667 | guide her along to your realm. And every so often, she whispers, | ||
| 668 | "Show this one more."</i></font></p> | ||
| 669 | |||
| 670 | <p><font | ||
| 671 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 672 | size="4"><i>There is a deeper sense of spirituality that has | ||
| 673 | grown, the awareness of devoting her life in service to another. | ||
| 674 | This slave has found its not about her any more, that she is part | ||
| 675 | of something bigger... she is part of you, Master. This feeling | ||
| 676 | is everpresent in her mind and soul. Others made their slavery | ||
| 677 | look so effortless. But for this slave, each step forward is | ||
| 678 | worth much when she struggled and grew as a | ||
| 679 | result.</i></font></p> | ||
| 680 | |||
| 681 | <p><font | ||
| 682 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 683 | size="4"><i>This slave's life is yours.</i></font></p> | ||
| 684 | |||
| 685 | <p><font | ||
| 686 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 687 | size="4"><i>The words that this slave could not express the day | ||
| 688 | you took her as your property: To you, this slave promises, her | ||
| 689 | goal in life is to make yours better for having her in it. She | ||
| 690 | will obey. She will reflect well on you as your possession. She | ||
| 691 | will continually strive to ensure your happiness. There is | ||
| 692 | nothing you could not ask of this slave. She will learn humility, | ||
| 693 | and peaceful grace at your feet. She is grateful to be allowed to | ||
| 694 | kneel at the feet of men, and for the guidance she has received. | ||
| 695 | She is yours, because she cannot imagine not being | ||
| 696 | yours.</i></font></p> | ||
| 697 | |||
| 698 | <p><font | ||
| 699 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 700 | size="4"><i>She already was.</i></font></p> | ||
| 701 | |||
| 702 | <p><font | ||
| 703 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 704 | size="4"><br> | ||
| 705 | <br> | ||
| 706 | <br> | ||
| 707 | <i><b>La Kajira!</b></i></font></p> | ||
| 708 | |||
| 709 | <p><font | ||
| 710 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 711 | size="4"><br> | ||
| 712 | <font | ||
| 713 | size="2" | ||
| 714 | color="#F9F8E5"><i>All rights reserved.<br> | ||
| 715 | � Copyright 1999-2001 kaylee</i></font></font></p> | ||
| 716 | |||
| 717 | <p><font | ||
| 718 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 719 | size="4"><br> | ||
| 720 | </font></p> | ||
| 721 | |||
| 722 | <center><font | ||
| 723 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 724 | size="4"> | ||
| 725 | <!-- v- Pass-it-on Gear Code by http://htmlgear.com -v --> | ||
| 726 | |||
| 727 | <a target="PASSITON"href="http://htmlgear.tripod.com/pass/control.pass?u=kayleewench&i=3&a=render&"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/pass/pio_blue.gif" border="0"></a><BR><a href="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/specs/pass.html"><img src="http://htmlgear.lycos.com/img/log/pa_i_getgear.GIF" alt="get this gear!" border="0"></a></a> | ||
| 728 | <!-- ^- End Pass-it-on Gear Code -^ --> | ||
| 729 | |||
| 730 | <br> | ||
| 731 | <br> | ||
| 732 | <br> | ||
| 733 | <br> | ||
| 734 | <br> | ||
| 735 | <br> | ||
| 736 | </font></p> | ||
| 737 | |||
| 738 | <center><font | ||
| 739 | color="#F9F8E5" | ||
| 740 | size="4"><a | ||
| 741 | href="kayindex.htm"><img | ||
| 742 | border="0" | ||
| 743 | src="images/kaylee/boundhomebutton.jpg" | ||
| 744 | alt="kaylee's Sanctuary"></a><br> | ||
| 745 | <br> | ||
| 746 | <a | ||
| 747 | href="essayindex.htm"><img | ||
| 748 | border="0" | ||
| 749 | src="images/kaylee/boundgoebutton.jpg" | ||
| 750 | alt="Gor on Earth Index"></a><br> | ||
| 751 | <br> | ||
| 752 | <br> | ||
| 753 | <br> | ||
| 754 | <br> | ||
| 755 | <br> | ||
| 756 | <font | ||
| 757 | size="2"><i>Digital Imagery� copyright 2001 PhotoDisc, Inc. Used | ||
| 758 | with permission.<br> | ||
| 759 | web page design by kaylee� copyright 2001<br> | ||
| 760 | </i></font><br> | ||
| 761 | <br> | ||
| 762 | </font></center> | ||
| 763 | </align> | ||
| 764 | </noscript></font></center> | ||
| 765 | </blockquote> | ||
| 766 | </td> | ||
| 767 | </tr> | ||
| 768 | </table> | ||
| 769 | </body> | ||
| 770 | </html> | ||
| 771 | |||
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git clone ssh://rocketgit@ssh.rocketgit.com/user/meronos/kaylee
Clone this repository using git:
git clone git://git.rocketgit.com/user/meronos/kaylee
You are allowed to anonymously push to this repository.
This means that your pushed commits will automatically be transformed into a merge request:
... clone the repository ...
... make some changes and some commits ...
git push origin main
... make some changes and some commits ...
git push origin main
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