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Repository of my stories and books.
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added descriptions to some of the works a45e76688469dc6bb4c965cc80382aae64ef6502 Launfal 2018-02-04 13:18:18
changed file extension 90d128a8f1de5efa3db673e559e057b8e9e3fa8c Launfal 2018-01-06 13:32:08
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removed control characters from text files 8c5e47f8455655319792ff0be964a6e5c384dee5 Launfal 2018-01-02 11:51:26
making the text files readable b2fdff00b506c4adc92ad7bc9d7dcb9a7302d40d Launfal 2017-12-24 19:02:34
Delete 01.chapter_one.text a51cd38f07a4c15370399914b44254e56180a68c Launfal 2017-12-24 17:51:06
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Rename hump_day.pdf to hump_day/hump_day.pdf e5b84a2c2bdcaa65718a270ffff49712bed7d62a Launfal 2017-12-24 17:14:51
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Commit a45e76688469dc6bb4c965cc80382aae64ef6502 - added descriptions to some of the works
Author: Launfal
Author date (UTC): 2018-02-04 13:18
Committer name: Launfal
Committer date (UTC): 2018-02-04 13:18
Parent(s): 90d128a8f1de5efa3db673e559e057b8e9e3fa8c
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WIP/README.md 1 0
WIP/bog_standard/000a_title.txt 6 0
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WIP/bog_standard/000d_notes.txt 10 0
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File WIP/README.md added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..fa96418)
1 This is my current work-in-progress. Sometimes progress is faster than other times.
File WIP/bog_standard/000a_title.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..1abcc41)
1 Hump Day
2
3 by
4
5 Rob Houglan
6
File WIP/bog_standard/000b_copyright.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..4b3439f)
1 Copyright
2
3 Copyright 2012 by Rob Houglan, Some Rights Reserved.
4
5 This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License (CC BY-SA 3.0). To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 444 Castro Street, Suite 900, Mountain View, California, 94041, USA.
6
7 In short, you are free to copy, distribute, transmit, and adapt this work, even for commercial purposes, under the conditions that the author is properly attributed and that any derivative work is released under these same terms.
8
9 Either of the above conditions can be waived with prior written consent of the author.
10
11 Cover Image Copyright 2012 by Holley Houglan, Some Rights Reserved.
12
13 Cover image licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License (CC BY-SA 3.0).
14
File WIP/bog_standard/000c_acknowledgments.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..8f3fc65)
1 Acknowledgments
2
3 First and foremost, I would like to thank my wife Holley whose companionship, advice, faith and dedication not only inspire me but reward me every day just for waking up in the morning. You have given me the confidence to take the step from amateur scribbler to published author. Thank you for the blessing that is our life together.
4
5 To my daughter Alex, thank you for reminding me that being creative gives us the freedom to make our own rules.
6
7 This book was written and published using free and open-source software. My thanks go out to all of the developers, testers and users of free software for their hard work and dedication, often unpaid and as labors of love, that benefit us all in ways that we may not even be aware of. In the spirit of that sharing, this book is released under a free-culture license with no copy protection as my way of using my gifts (such as they are) to give back to the community as best I can.
8
9 My thanks also go to The Office of Letters and Light, who sponsor the annual National Novel Writing Month. This book is the product of my participation in 2010, and without their hard work and dedication to the art of writing and the support of writers, this book might never have been written.
10
11 Last but not least, to those friends and coworkers too numerous to mention who have shown interest in my writing over the years by reading and critiquing without judgment the stories that I have written, my sincerest thanks to you all.
12
File WIP/bog_standard/000d_notes.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..f503f96)
1 Notes
2
3 While most of the places in this book are real and are located generally where the story sets them, I have taken certain liberties with the topographies of the various locations to suit the needs of the story. My apologies in advance to anyone offended by my flagrant manipulation of the real world.
4
5 Similarly, what I know about flying (or jumping out of) an airplane would fit on a matchbook cover. To those readers who are experienced pilots or parachutists, my apologies in advance for any technical errors that I may have committed in order to further the story.
6
7 Any resemblance of the characters to actual persons, living or dead, that I don't personally know is purely coincidental.
8 Any resemblance of the characters to actual persons, living or dead, that I do personally know is probably coincidental.
9 Any resemblance of this work to a coherent story is absolutely coincidental.
10
File WIP/bog_standard/000e_quote.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..84f7eb0)
1 When you see millions of the mouthless dead
2 Across your dreams in pale battalions go,
3 Say not soft things as other men have said,
4 That you'll remember. For you need not so.
5 Give them not praise. For, deaf, how should they
6 know
7 It is not curses heaped on each gashed head?
8
9 – Charles Hamilton Sorley
10
File WIP/bog_standard/001_chapter_one.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..b00c4a6)
1 Chapter One
2
3 Mondays should be illegal. I'm sure they are in several countries, but I don't live in one of them, so I began another week the same way I started last week and the way I'll start next week and all the weeks left in my natural life.
4
5 At 7AM sharp, my alarm woke me with the squeal of bagpipes at a volume guaranteed to wake up the neighbors on Alpha Centauri. Fumbling groggily towards the nightstand, I pressed the snooze button, prepared for another ten minutes of bliss in the arms of Morpheus. The bagpipes switched to a pan-flute symphony, and more blind button-stabbing did nothing to abate the cacophany. Cycling helplessly through polka, bluegrass, newage techno and various takes on riverdancing, I waved the white flag, surrendering to the inevitable, and called for help.
6
7 "Jane, come turn this damned thing off!"
8
9 My wife breezed into the room, bright and airy, a ray of sunshine beaming through the darkness that was our room and my mood. With a delicate flick of her finger, she restored blessed silence and favored me with the look one gives to a child caught playing dressup in his dad's clothes. She gave me a pat on the head and turned to leave.
10
11 "It's all right, John, that evil gadget can't get you now," she said, he back turned to hide her smirk.
12
13 "I'm not the one who bought a 10-CD changing alarmclock-burglar alarm-SETI satellite dish," I said. "Other people have alarms that ring, or play the radio, or other things that wake people up without giving them cardiac arrest."
14
15 "You're perfectly free to live with one of them, if they'll have you, which they won't. No one wants to live with such a grumpy bear," she said with a jaunty flick of her robe as it disappeared around the corner.
16
17 "You catch more bears with honey than you do with a flamethrower," I muttered as I staggered out of bed towards the bathroom.
18
19 *****
20
21 As John stumbled and bumbled through the obstacle course that was his bedroom, an alien race in peril from a sun about to go nova had been broadcasting a desperate plea for help across every frequency and spectrum in the known universe. What he had mistaken for the Bagpipe Baccarole in A,B,C and E-sharp minor was actually a recording of their last transmission. Not that he could have aided them even had he known, since the star was far enough away that the transmission had taken 1500 years to reach Earth. The doomed race, and the star they had orbited, had been radioactive dust since the Crusades. The ruins of their opulent society wouldn't be discovered for another 3,000 years.
22
23 *****
24
25 The shower sputtered and spit before it fully awoke, apparently having the same opinion of Mondays that I do. Lowering my head into the hot spray, I breathed deep of the thick, humid fog that wrapped me in a white cocoon. Refusing to think about the mountain of work that I had left piled on my desk Friday, I let mental static play in my head as I lathered up and washed. The soap slipped out of my hands, and I spent a frustrating few minutes chasing it in circles around the bottom of the tub, but since the shampoo had falled over and spilled around my feet, it was only as perilous as rollerblading down Main Street during rushhour. Restoring my shower supplies to their proper places, I rinsed the sea of suds down the drain and stepped out onto the rug next to the tub. It only skidded a foot or so, but at least it was in the direction I wanted to go.
26
27 At the mirror, I fought a losing battle against the mist obscuring my view before I decided I looked better if I couldn't see me. Scraping the lather from my face, I amused myself by watching the light dance along the surface of the mirror, seeming to arrange my features as if it were a funhouse mirror. Clearing the glass enough to verify that I'd only cut myself a couple times, I brushed my teeth, ran a quick comb through my hair and returned to the bedroom with my towel around my waist.
28
29 *****
30
31 What John had mistaken for his mis-shapen reflection in the mirror was actually the spirit of his great-great-great-grandfather, trying to reach him from the Great Beyond. He had been a cattle-rancher in Wyoming, making a fair living, before he had discovered a goldmine on his property. He later died while prospecting the mine as it collapsed around him, before he had recorded its location or mentioned it in his will. Because of the physical properties of his astral plane, he could only manifest in our reality for several minutes every 500 years. By the time John had reached his bedroom, it had faded while screaming frustrated curses.
32
33 *****
34
35 Tossing the towel on the floor, I rummaged around in my dressers for socks and underwear. Managing to find socks that almost matched, I put them on and went to the closet for a suit. Choosing a charcoal pinstripe, white shirt and red tie, I dressed without incident, sliding my feet into black brogues. Sitting on the edge of the bed to tie them, the left shoelace snapped off in my hand. I looked at it stupidly for a minute, amazed at its traitorous behavior. If my favorite shoes were going to turn on me, it boded ill for the rest of my day. Bloodied but unbowed, I kicked them off and traded them for a pair of loafers then headed to the kitchen for my morning coffee.
36
37 Jane was sitting at the table reading a magazine as I went to the cupboard for a mug. Setting it on the counter, I filled it with coffee, added a teaspoon of sugar and picked it up to take it to the table. At least I tried to lift it. What I ended up with was a handle with no cup attached. A mug of air not having the same stimulating effect as the coffee I wanted, I gingerly took my coffee with both hands and quickly set it down next to my chair, blowing on my fingers. The half-ring of porcelain was still wrapped around my index finger, so I slid it across the table.
38
39 "Get a handle on yourself," I said.
40 She picked it up and held it next to her ring finger. "Thank you so much. It's a definite upgrade from the popcan ring you gave me on our engagement."
41 "I'll have you know that it was a beer can. I needed the fortification."
42 "I always thought you were drunk when you proposed, offering me a life of masticated bliss."
43 "I wasn't drunk, and at least it was an imported beer."
44 "You big spender, you," she said, dropping the handle with a smile.
45
46 Waiting for my coffee to cool, I picked up the paper and looked at the front page. Amid stories about the city's imminent financial collapse, the local baseball team's imminent relocation, and the plant's imminent closure was a feel good piece about some Australian guy winning an award. Apparently, he'd taken every zombie book ever written, run them through some computer analysis and then discovered the cure for the common cold. I looked up at Jane.
47
48 "You read this on the front page?"
49 "Yeah. Bad news is that he's being sued by the pharmaceuticals, TV stations and the AMA. Detriment to commerce, or something."
50 "No good deed, and all that." I opened to the next page.
51 "Says here that the president's giving a speech here next week. His new jobs agenda," I said.
52 "Doesn't that necessarily imply that there'd been an old jobs agenda?"
53 "You'd think so. Maybe there was one and everyone missed it."
54 "Must have been all that work they were doing, interfering with their appreciation of his efforts."
55
56 I grunted and dove back in, looking for evidence that the society was at least holding its own against the forces intent on destroying it. Coming up dry, I went back to the coffee pot for a refill in a cup that retained its handle. I'd forget about the blisters on my hands in a few days.
57
58 "So what's on your agenda for today," I asked, refolding the paper.
59 "I have a meeting with a regional somebody-or-other who flew in from The Apple. Wants to lecture us poor, backwoods district managers on our inattention to important stuff."
60 "Hunh. I thought you guys were doing pretty good."
61 "I figure the monthly payment on his latest mansion is about due, so he's going to spur the mounts to greater effort." When I opened my mouth to reply, she held up her hand. "Keep it in your pants, there, Roy Rogers. It's way too early in the morning to be fitting me for a bridle."
62
63 I closed my mouth and she winked. "How about you?" she asked.
64 "Same old, same old. Add this, divide that, finagle the other. If I can write the answers in black ink, it's a good day."
65 "So daring, so adventurous. How do you stand the constant adrenaline rush?"
66 "I run a heroin IV. I'm down to three bags a day."
67 "That's good. I worry that you're overdoing it. And speaking of destructive, addictive behavior, don't forget your doctor's appointment today."
68 "I didn't forget. I was ignoring it." At her raised eyebrow, I added, "All right, all right, I'll go, but I won't like it."
69 "But I will," she said, and that set the matter in stone.
70
71 Glancing at the clock, I stood and grabbed my briefcase. "Time for another exciting episode of the serial that is my life. Barring financial Armageddon, I should be home on time."
72 Giving me a quick but tender kiss, she said, "Then I'll make sure that dinner's only a couple hours late tonight. Do good, handsome."
73
74 She answered my squeeze of her butt with a slap on my arm before she pushed me out the door, sliding my sack lunch into the crook of my arm.
75
76 *****
77
78 Had John read just a little more of his paper, he would have seen the medium-sized ad in the sports section that explained that due to a freak mathematical coincidence, anyone whose name contained nine letters, living in a city with a population divisible by seven prime numbers, the last four of which comprised the house number of his address, could have invested ten dollars in the stock market that day and enjoyed a return of a billion dollars. As he walked to his car, Jane swept up the daily paper off of the table and deposited it into the recycle bin as she cleaned up the kitchen.
79
80 *****
81
82 I walked around the house to the garage and opened the side door. Fumbling my briefcase, keys and lunch, I managed to only drop two of them as I unlocked the car. Dropping the case and lunch in the passenger's seat, I got in and closed the door. Starting the car would have been much easier had I taken the keys out of the lock, so getting back out I retrieved them and tried the process again. As expected, with the key in the ignition, the car ran much better.
83
84 I hit the button on the visor to open the garage door, and for the first time since awakening, something worked the way it was supposed to. I drove out and turned right at the street, checking in the rearview mirror that the garage had closed behind me. Feeling encouraged, I turned right at the first corner and merged into the thickening morning traffic. At the first red light, I turned on the radio and cycled through the presets. News, news, sports, bad news, newstalk, more bad news. I flipped a mental coin between the jazz and classical stations before a rousing saxophone solo sealed the deal. I slipped on a pair of Pradas and settled into another morning commute.
File WIP/bog_standard/002_chapter_two.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..d0e7f8d)
1 Chapter Two
2
3 It started out as a pleasant drive, the bright sun giving the promise of a warm, cheery autumn day. I had beaten the worst of the snarl on this leg of the commute, and I was hopeful for a better than average trip into work. Kids skipped, ran, pushed and shoved along the sidewalks on both sides, the more daring pretending to run into the street to hear the squeal of brakes. There were worse ways to start the day, and I relaxed a little in my seat as I let the music from the radio wash over me.
4
5 Unexpectedly, traffic came to a complete halt, cars lined up and stopped going both ways on the two-lane street. I was just past the highschool and only a few blocks from the highway entrance. I could see the beckoning green sign with its inviting white arrow urging me forward, wanting me to take its ramp and drop my foot on the accelerator, but I was stymied by the long line of idling cars. As if in despair of my ever reaching it, the sign darkened as the sun passed behind a cloud, casting it in shadow.
6
7 I sighed and looking for a way around the congestion, I saw an orange detour sign with a black arrow pointing right. Since I was just short of the corner, I cranked the steering wheel, and only taking some of the curb turned onto the cross-street. Few of the cars had taken this route, and my rearview was clear as well. Their loss if they wanted to sit in deadlocked traffic while the rest of the world took some initiative and blazed its own trail.
8
9 *****
10
11 Just after John turned off the main street, a young man on a skateboard rolled to the car that had been behind him and gave him a VIP pass to the exclusive club opening that weekend. The waiting list for the premiere was fifteen years, but as a special promotion, the twenty-seventh car in line on that street on that morning was awarded unlimited free food and drinks along with a backstage pass after the show which was to feature the top five bands on the year's bestselling list.The couple that did attend received the added bonus of finding a ten-carat uncut diamond in the wife's linguini alfredo, which they later sold at auction for 50-million dollars, its origin having been traced to the illegitimate fourth-cousin of an obscure British duke.
12
13 *****
14
15 I'd gone quite a ways before it occured to me that I should have found another sign taking me back to the main street. I was pretty sure I was past the expressway entrance by now, so I took the next left and found myself at a cul-de-sac of one of the ritzy housing developments in this part of town. I'd never had reason to drive around over here, so I wasn't familiar with the layout of the cross-streets. Turning around and taking the next street found me in the same predicament, so after another turnaround, I continued on the way I'd been going.
16
17 A few more blocks and I found Fourth Street, which I knew would take me back where I wanted to go. Turning left, I sat at the light on Cooper, on the other side of the ramp as I'd suspected. The cars were still sitting where they had been, which meant the only viable direction was right. On the green light, I made the turn and made better time since I was also past the worst of the traffic jam. After a few more blocks, I saw a sign for the local coffee shop, and deciding that a cinnamon moccha would be just the thing, I turned right again into the parking lot.
18
19 The lot was jammed with people, milling around, trying their best to see into the large picture windows in the front of the shop. They were stacked four and five deep in places, jostling each other for a better view. Maybe they were having some kind of giveaway, or it could have just been that the stalled traffic had provided them with a captive customer base. Either way, there was no moccha in my future, so returning to my car I exited the lot and continued on my way.
20
21 *****
22
23 As the shop left John's rearview mirror, several police cruisers, ambulances and a firetruck showed up at the coffeeshop. At the start of the morning, a customer had ordered a mint-julep orange frappe at the exact moment of a power surge through the vending equipment. The resultant geyser of boiling, flavored liquid enveloped the counter area, causing several customers rather extensive burns. Fortunately, the circus was just on its way out of town, so the trapeze artists, along with the stilted clowns, used their extraordinary skills to reach the malfunctioning equipment and shut it off. After the crowd had finally dispersed, one of the midgets found a lottery ticket dropped by one of the onlookers and cashed it in as the winning mega-number jackpot winner, retiring in luxury with his lifetime annuity of 106 million dollars.
24
25 *****
26
27 I found another ramp a couple of miles down the street, and merging with traffic, I was again on my way. The flow was reasonable if a little slow going into downtown, with a couple of hangups on the ramps closest to the office district. Since I worked across town, I stayed in the left lane and avoided the worst of the back and forth lane switching that is a staple of highway driving. Once I cleared downtown, things settled down and I could ease up my grip on the wheel a little.
28
29 I took my ramp and drove the several blocks to the office. This side of town was rapidly expanding with retails stores and restaurants seemingly springing up overnight. The mall on this side of town was a little arty for my tastes, but Jane spent a lot of time and money over there staying abreast of the latest in avante-garde home decoration. I had asked her once whether it wasn't a little pretentious hanging knock-offs of Dali and Picasso on the walls of a middle-class eastside house.
30
31 "Oh, I'm sorry, but the gas station was all out of black velvet unicorns," had been her only reply, cocking an eyebrow like a crossbow, waiting for my next unsophisticated critique. Wisely, I had kept it behind my teeth and let it go.
32
33 Pulling into the parking garage, I found a spot in the same zip code of the office, and since the elevator was again out of order, I walked the six flights of steps down to the employee entrance on the ground floor. Swiping my keycard against the electronic reader, I passed Joe Martin, the security guard.
34
35 "What do you say, Joe?" I asked on my way to the tunnel connecting the garage to the offices.
36
37 "You know how it is, John. Another day, another half-dollar after taxes," he replied, glancing up from the small TV on his desk next to the security monitor. "Hey, thanks for the tip, by the way. I got into that IPO on the ground floor and the stock really took off."
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39 I walked over to his station and leaned against the counter. "You had me worried for a while. I didn't think you were going to pull the trigger until it was too late. Just make sure you don't hang on too long. Those tech stocks have a way of falling through the floor if you're not paying attention."
40
41 "No problem. In and out, that's my motto," he said, waggling his eyebrows.
42
43 "How are the kids? Your oldest should be about out of college, right?"
44
45 "Yeah, Jenny's doing great. Gonna graduate this spring with some kind of honors, and she's got job offers lined up around the block. Good thing she's got her mother's brains."
46
47 "And her looks," I added, ignoring his raised middle finger. "Well, keep walking the wall, Joey, keeping the world safe from the forces of evil. I've got a table reserved in my corner of the ratrace, doing my part to keep the lights on."
48
49 "Some people say you're the forces of evil, John, and that I'm enabling the new world order. If you're going to take everything over, could you speed things up? I wouldn't mind retiring before I'm too old to enjoy it."
50
51 "I'll see what I can do to help you out. Can't have you missing out on all the stuff they talk about on those investment commercials. See you."
52
53 Joe threw me a nonchalant salute and I went through the double glass doors leading to the office. Hitting the button for the elevator, I waited on the ferryman for my trip across the proverbial river. The way things had been going lately, I might have to borrow his paddle when I ended up in the creek.
54
55 *****
56
57 Joe Martin did indeed sell the shares of his new tech stock, but due to a computer glitch, instead of the money going into his investment account, it went towards the purchase of Microsoft stock. Compounding the error, the purchase was backdated to March of 1986 and set up for reinvestment of dividends towards additional share purchases. He retired two weeks later a multi-gazillionaire, moving to the Caribbean island he later purchased on Ebay, going from an employee of the bank to one of its wealthier clients.
58
59 *****
60
61 The elevator arrived and I took it to the tenth floor, halfway up the monolithic tower that I often joked should have been built of ivory rather than steel and glass. The atmosphere, as always, was subdued, the soft murmur of high-powered transactions being conducted over vid-links with the rich and famous replacing piped-in mood music as the backdrop. Tailored suits, on the men and women, lent the place a sophistication that the founders had insisted on when first opening their doors 200 years ago.
62
63 If it weren't for Jane, I'd stick out like a refugee from the set of Deliverance in comparison, and even with her expert guidance it was a near thing.
64
65 I waved and murmured my way across the section, keeping a low profile so as not to interfere with the economic progress of the free world. Things were already well underway by the time I'd arrived, with the Asian markets perking up enough overnight to give the graveyard shift something to do. Down the hallway to my office, I stuck my head into the open doorways for quiet greetings and quick waves. Into my office, I set down my briefcase and lunch, tapped a key on my terminal, and hung up my coat while I waited for the network to respond.
66
67 Behind my desk, I scrolled through the overnight economic news, taking special notice of the overnight activity in the Japanese market. Several announcements were rumored to be in the pipeline by some of the major industrial players over there, and the American stock futures were up in anticipation of major news. The opening bell wouldn't sound for another hour, so there was still plenty of time for the boots on the ground to dig out the details and funnel them upstairs to the planners and advisors.
68
69 The uptick lost its momentum across the pond, however, as the European markets were still sluggish in reacting positively to good news internationally. The instability of the Eurozone, coupled with the social unrest caused by the IMF austerity provisions were acting as a negative drag against any optimism that such news would ordinarily provided. The employment numbers there were even worse than ours, and the constant outbreaks of protests weren't helping in restoring financial confidence. Even the Brits were feeling some of the pain looking in from the outside, with a host of problems all their own.
70
71 It would take some delicate handling and perhaps some riskier moves, to offset any losses that originated in the European markets. The time difference would help, as indicators from the futures there would give enough warning as to what we could expect as the day progressed.
72
73 Turning my attention to the stack of reports that had grown over the weekend, I picked up the folder on top of the stack and leaned back in my chair as I read.
File WIP/bog_standard/003_chapter_three.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..76b4f22)
1 Chapter Three
2
3 Sometimes numbers sing to me, and sometimes they play a funeral dirge. Slogging through the first couple of folders, I was in imminent danger of keeling over from a boredom-induced stroke. I needed more caffeine, and since I'd been thwarted in my attempts to procure a well-made flavorable blend, I was reduced to settling for what passed for coffee in this joint.
4
5 You'd think that a high-powered outfit like Lewis and Clarke (pioneers of financial independence. How catchy is that?) would understand the importance of good coffee in the scheme of fast-paced wheeling and dealing. Maybe they do, but that understanding somehow never fell past the executive floors, so what we were left with tasted like the leftovers from their pots after being on for three days. With a sigh, I left my office and ambled to the closest lounge.
6
7 *****
8
9 Speaking of coffee, after John left his office, his terminal beeped. In a small notice-box in the center of his screen, a news report on the interruption of Colombian coffee exports appeared. Due to a sudden coup d'etat, during which the president fled to Venzuela with the national treasury, the Peruvians had announced a new coffee blend that would fill the sudden void in exports worldwide. At the news, coffee futures had soared.
10
11 It was later learned that the Peruvians had augmented their blends with wormwood, causing international consternation for a frantic few days. Once the furor settled back to the status quo, commodity prices returned to normal, but in the interim, observant and adventurous day-traders raked in profits totalling billions for their clients' portfolios and huge commissions for themselves.
12
13 *****
14
15 I was about halfway there when I found Stan Thomas in a cubicle, slamming keys and muttering to himself. I rounded the corner and found myself face to face with a Day of the Dead mask with dollar signs for eyes. Stan has always been a little strange, especially for a banker, but his magic in the commodities markets has made him bulletproof against official actions to bring him more in line with "corporate expectations". I leaned against the wall of his cubicle for a minute, waiting for him to take a breath.
16
17 After a minute or so, he turned in his chair, a sharpened pencil cocked in his fist like he was looking for somewhere to implant it. Seeing me, he cocked his head as if measuring the distance between his hand and my eye, then with a grunt he tossed the pencil onto his desk. Leaning back in his chair, he ran his hand over his shiny bald head.
18
19 "John, we're getting too old for this stuff. What's say we go hard-core Arbitron and rack up a quick fortune with fractional-pennies? A week, maybe two, and we're hip-deep in Senoritas and margaritas."
20 "Sounds good, but our wives may have an objection or two."
21 "There is that, but with enough screw-you money, they'll come around. We'd even throw in some cabana-boys to balance the scales. They'd be so onboard."
22 "Yeah, well, it's all fun and games until the parts come off. Call me crazy, but I've got this attachment to my attachments, and I'd hate to see them in a jar. So, tell me, what's with the serial-killer audition?"
23 "Soybeans."
24 "What have soybeans ever done to you?"
25 "Besides taste like carpet fuzz? Not much, and usually we're on good terms. But today, there's some strange fluctuations in the indicators, and I can't get a grip on them. If I didn't know better, I'd swear there was something in the water, since wheat, rice and beef are spazzing out, too."
26 "I did a quick news-scan, and nothing strange is on the nets."
27 "I know. It's nothing on the radar, but I've got this feeling that something's in the weeds, waiting to jump out and eat our faces. If I was more sure, I'd dump it all, cut the losses and ride it out."
28 "Your clients would go batcrap insane if you pulled a stunt like that, and by the time they stopped screaming, your face would look like that," I said, jerking my head towards his mask.
29 "Well, I've got a quick play I can make, and if it pans out, it won't matter, but if it goes sideways, I'll need a place to hide."
30 "Just call me Switzerland. I was just on my way for some rotgut, so I'll leave you to it. With your shield or on it, Stan. Just stay out of the headlines."
31 He gave me a quick wave as I regained the hallway on the way to the lounge.
32
33 *****
34
35 Stan had seen the news on the Colombian crisis, and unlike John, did a quick conversion of client holdings from their usual diversification to an all-in Peruvian investment. By the end of the day, he would make enough commission for himself and the company that he would be promoted to junior partner.
36
37 *****
38
39 Making it to the lounge without further interuption, I found Rick Castle and Tom Reynolds sitting at a small table and Ruth Jennings at the coffeepot trying to coax it to produce something more drinkable than used motor oil. I took a seat at the table and returned their nods. They were in the middle of a conversation, so I leaned back and listened.
40
41 "Look, we all know that this GMO thing is a big deal, but how is it really going to affect the economic balance? Somebody's going to make a play, and the trick will be to be on their side when they cash in their hand," Rick said.
42 "No way we want to be anywhere near it," Tom replied. "The political fallout is going to bite a lot of people right in the butt, and if we have clients in the middle of that mess, they're going to blame us for the blowback."
43 "Trust me, no one's going to care when the armored cars start lining up around the block. They'll give lip service to the environmental stuff, all the while opening offshore accounts to dodge the taxes."
44 "You know that won't wash with the Old Men. They hate anything that even smells like taking public positions."
45 "Stan's already pulling his scalp off trying to work around some of this stuff," I said. "He says there's already something hinky in the futures. Maybe it has something to do with what you guys are talking about?"
46 "I don't see how," Rick said. "Right now, the anti-GMO crowd is making a lot of noise, but nothing official is coming of it yet."
47 "Blind much?" Tom said. "They're burning tons of the stuff in effigy in protests that if not government-sponsored are sure at least tacitly endorsed."
48 "Yeah, but where are they? Places that nobody's ever heard of and wouldn't go if they had. I'm telling you, there's money being made somewhere under the surface and we've got to sink a tap and get our cut," Rick said. Over his shoulder, he added, "What's the holdup with that coffee, Woman? You grinding the beans in a pencil sharpener or what?"
49 "I'm going to grind your beans in a minute," Ruth said, holding a pot of water over the coffeemaker. She had already thrown a chunk of something into the wastebasket that had hit with a solid thud. "There was something stuck in the machine that was plugging everything up. I think I've got it now. Hold your horses, Mister."
50 "So what's new in your neck of the woods?" Tom asked. "What have you got waiting for the opening bell?"
51 "Nothing exciting. A couple of economic policy statements in the pipeline out of DC, employment numbers being released in a couple hours, and the IMF turning up the heat over the problems in Greece and Spain," I said.
52 "They finally going to shut off the spigot? I've heard that Germany is making a ton of noise about having to foot the bill for those austerity measures."
53 "Eh, same old, same old. You know how it works. IMF lays down the law, says no money if you step sideways, then when it all hits the fan in the streets they find a loophole to kick them the money anyway."
54 "What do the repayment prospects look like?" Rick asked. "They can't be good, right?"
55 "They're lousy, and that's what the Germans are screaming about. I'll need to talk to Brigitte to get the latest, but it's looking like downward pressure on the Euro, and you know what that will do in the currency markets."
56 "Scramble them like eggs," Tom said. "You're a nut for going near the currency exchanges."
57 "Gotta make a living," I said. "If I don't, somebody else will. Besides, I should be able to hedge with the yen and pound until the boat stops rocking. Long term, nobody's got a crystal ball."
58 "There's always the dollar," Rick said, smirking.
59 "Let me know how that works for you," I said. "That would be like hedging against swampland with quicksand."
60 "You're the expert," Tom said. "Hey, coffee's ready."
61 "Ruthie, you're a goddess," I said, pouring a cup and adding a packet of sugar. Taking a sip, I added, "Pure ambrosia."
62 "Sweet talkers, all of you," she said. "Now if you can manage without me, I've got real work to do.
63 "I'm with her," I said, taking my cup to the doorway. "Anybody needs me, I'll be in my office until lunchtime."
64
65 *****
66
67 After John left, Tom and Rick stayed in the lounge a while, talking over a cup of coffee. Before they left, Tom went to the wastebasket and pulled out the chunk that had been plugging the coffeemaker. A small, white nugget the size of a dime, he showed it to Rick and they wondered about it over another cup of coffee.
68
69 On a hunch, Tom gave it to a friend of his who worked in a lab at the university. On learning that the chunk was vanadium, Tom and Rick secured financing from a venture capitalist and developed a distributed-network model of vanadium production using discarded coffeepots. Within a year, they had cashed in on several patents, and their startup company cornered the steel and titanium markets in Europe and Asia. Their progress in the American markets was slower, due to protective tariffs and restrictions.
70
71 *****
72
73 Back in my office, I restarted my slog through the press releases, rumors and hints that are the mainstay of any banker worth his salt. The leads from the mainliners were pretty much what I'd come to expect, sensationalist pap with headlines predicting the collapse of civilization as we know it. The real dirt came from the second-tier sources, rags that would never achieve the level of respect and propriety of the major sources, but all the same often offered insights that while often overly paroid led to interesting avenues of investigation.
74
75 For example, I quickly skimmed a story out of Athens that claimed the IMF to be the hatchetmen for the Illuminati, the public face of a secret cabal with the mission of destroying Greek culture in order to absorb them into their ever-widening net of intrigue. What the story failed to mention was that the Greek government was flat broke, and that without a massive restructuring of its public debt vis-a-vis its investment in the social infrastructure, it wouldn't take a hidden agenda to flush the whole country down the drain.
76
77 Of course the story was ridiculous, but that wasn't the point. Sometimes, investment decisions are based on criteria that transcend mere ones and zeros, and having a finger on the sociological pulse of a potential market is as necessary as understanding its economic situation. The Greek markets were presently a disaster, not only because of their monetary instability but due also to the attitudes of the normal people. They weren't interested in fiscal responsibility aimed at future prosperity. They wanted their safety net and government handouts, and they wanted them now, and their demands were spreading throughout the EU. Things were about to get very interesting very soon on the continent, and I had to have a fallback plan ready in the event of a meltdown.
78
79 I was considering that very thing when the phone on my desk chirped. Picking it up, I was answered by the sweet contralto of Annie Banks, personal assistant and executive secretary to Brandon Clarke. I knew who she was, but as far as I could remember, this was the first time she'd ever spoken to me.
80
81 "Mr. Clarke has requested your presence in his office," she said. "If I might make a suggestion, I would advise timing your arrival as close to now as possible."
82
83 The loud click in my ear was all the sign I needed of the value of my input on the subject.
File WIP/bog_standard/004_chapter_four.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..ecdebff)
1 Chapter Four
2
3 The top floor. I had never been there, and I had never talked to anyone who had. Legend had it that was because once summoned there, you either stayed or you left out a window. While I found it hard to believe that the foundation of our building consisted of the bones of those who had gone before me, I wasn't above wondering if I shouldn't have upped the limit on my life insurance. Waiting for the elevator, I tried convincing myself of how silly I was, but by the time the bell rang, I had only bought half of what I was selling. With a deep breath, I entered the car and hit the button at the top of the panel.
4
5 As the car whirred upward, I felt like a supplicant scaling Mount Olympus, empty-handed, preparing to petition the gods to pity me with a show of their favor. The partners were the stuff of myth, and no one I knew could pick any of them out of a lineup. They had no need to mingle with the working class, and they ruled the bank like feudal lords, their decrees filtering down through the bureaucracy like mist on an autumn day. A good autumn day. On bad days, their edicts landed among us with the force of a warhammer thrown from on high, and pity the poor schmuck who as standing on the impact site.
6
7 The bell rang again and the door opened onto an alien world. Plush carpeting spread out before me like a meadow. Original works from the Renaissance lining the walls. Mahogany doors standing guard over the hallway. As I entered the floor, the gentle hum of soft voices and melodic chiming of expensive electronics only added to the sense of having been magically transported into the center of all human knowledge. My steps were slow and halting as I forced myself to act my age. It wasn't like I was going to my execution.
8
9 It was much more serious than that.
10
11 The hallway widened into a large outer office dominated by the secretary's desk. Annie eyed me balefully as I approached, and before I reached her jerked her head to the guest chairs lining the wall behind me. Taking my seat, I diverted myself by taking in the panoramic oil paintings that gave me the feeling that I had wandered into an art gallery. A wall of windows to my left gave me a breathtaking view of the entire downtown district, and I watched the cars crawling along the streets like motorized ants leaving a picnic. An antique grandfather clock ticked pompously in the corner, each second passing per subjective week. As time passed, it took more and more resolve in order for me to keep from fidgeting. Showing my nerves seemed a bad idea considering the already low opinion of me Annie apparently had of me. Finally, her phone whirred and after a moment, she murmurred something too low to hear and looking in my direction only long enough to ensure she had my attention, she jerked her head at the door behind her left shoulder.
12
13 Muttering my thanks, I passed her desk, ignoring her soft sniff as I knocked and entered the office.
14
15 The inner office was smaller than the outer, but not by much. The furniture was richer, teak and mahogany, but the carpeting was a short shag of bright green. A small hole had been drilled in the middle of the floor, and I was standing over it looking down when a golfball appeared from my right and fell into it. Looking back the way it had come, I saw a tall, thin, graying man in a three-piece suit holding a putter. Walking to the hole, he took the ball and tossed it carelessly over his shoulder while he looked at me. I heard it hit and roll until it thunked into something behind me, perhaps the wall. Taking a seat in the black executive chair behind his desk, he gestured to me to take one of the smaller wingbacks parked in front of it. When I did, he nodded and hit the button on his intercom.
16
17 "Anastasia, hold all my calls," he said.
18 "Of course, Sir," she replied and clicked off.
19
20 "So, young man, do you know why I called you in here?"
21 "No, Sir," I said.
22 "Would you like to know?"
23 "No, Sir," I said with a weak smile.
24
25 He either had no sense of humor or his and mine didn't intersect. His blue eyes went glacial as his eyebrows raised.
26
27 "Yes, Sir," I tried again.
28 He nodded. "I've had reports on your productivity that have been most satisfactory. Your ability to predict financial trends has made our firm a great deal of money and brought credit to yourself in the bargain."
29 "Thank you, Sir," I said, hoping I sounded modest and not demure.
30 "That said, it has been brought to my attention that there are others in the industry who have been inquiring as to the availability of your services. I would be most disappointed to think that you have in any way encouraged those inquiries."
31 "No, Sir, I have not," I said more emphatically. It helped that I was telling the truth.
32 "That is good to know. Loyalty to our family is as important as loyalty to our clients, and that loyalty is expected from those for whom you work. Is that understood?"
33 "Yes, Sir. Absolutely," I said.
34 "Good. Now that we have that out of the way, tell me what you're currently working on."
35 "I have some news items that came in last night relating to the growing instability of the European markets. Nothing as yet that need concern us, but I am looking at alternative outlets should the currency problems there lead to a negative return."
36 "What are the chances of that? Have you run any concrete analysis?" Brandon Clarke was nothing if not sharp. No way I was going to get off with some half-baked techno-babble.
37 "No, Sir, not yet. The most recent developments have only just come together in enough detail to make that possible. I do, however, have feelers out to my contacts there and expect to be receiving more reliable data shortly."
38 "Very good. I'll be eagerly awaiting your reports on the matter. We have valued clients with substantial European holdings, acquired mainly because of your assurances of their positive yield potential. I would hate to have to convey our regrets should those assurances have been premature. At the very least, you will have a suitable exit strategy in place for any client wishing to make use of it."
39 "Absolutely, Sir. I'll have alternative investment avenues ready by the end of business today."
40 "Yes, you will," he said, reaching for a manilla folder that had been at the corner of his desk.
41
42 The interview over, I stood and walked as quietly as possible to the door which I closed silently behind me. Making it to the elevator without sustaining additional damage to my nerves or pride, I hit the elevator button and as I waited for the car, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Any landing you can walk away from is a good enough landing for me.
43
44 *****
45
46 As John left the office, Brandon Clarke hit the intercom on his desk and had his secretary complete a call. When his office phone rang, he engaged in a short conversation and then hung up. While he waited for the results of his call, he regained his club and sank a few more putts from various points in his office. When his phone rang again, he finalized the deal for a syndicated television show centered on international economic news. As Mr. Smith was unfortunately unable to fulfill the sizable responsibilities of such an opportunity, his nephew, Randall Clarke would be a more than suitable replacement.
47
48 *****
49
50 Feeling like I'd dodged a silver bullet, I went back to my office and was taking a sip of my coffee before I completely sat down. It wasn't ambrosia by any means when hot, but at room temperature it had the taste and consistency of used motor oil. Ready to resolve myself to the fact that I wouldn't get much done in the short term, I took my cup back to the lounge and changed my oil. The new cup tasted as bad as the old one, but at least it felt like coffee, which is half the battle. Speaking of battles, I retook my seat behind my desk, and armed with the necessities I sifted, sorted, collated and analyzed.
51
52 I was trying to reconcile some inconsistencies in a set of lagging indicators when my phone rang. Not having a secretary, all my calls come through the computerized routing system, and on good days half the calls into my office are for me. On bad days, I feel like an adjunct to the switchboard, having had to learn more about this modernized, automated, multi-function, glowing, buzzing, whirring contraption than I ever wanted to know. Maybe this would be a good day, since the call was from one of my contacts in Greece, Mikaly Thanos. A mid-level federal functionary, he passed for an economic advisor over there as well as anyone else, since trying to get a handle on the chaos that was federal Greek policy took equal measures of research, computation and mysticism. I wasn't expecting good news, and he didn't dissapoint.
53
54 "Johnny, it's a mess over here," he said. The connection was good for a change, ironic since the news was going to be bad.
55 "Tell me something I don't know, Mike. I got that from the morning cartoons."
56 "Yeah, well Bugs Bunny this, my friend. The IMF has a wild hair and they're going to comb it out all over our parliament. They're saying that if they don't get their books in order, they're going to need to start passing out tin cups for donations."
57 "They're threatening to cut off the loans? They just announced that they were going to let them go through. What the hells are going on over there?"
58 "You tell me, my friend. They just had a protest over there a few days ago, and the parliament building is barricaded like an army base. Things are bad and about to get worse. The lid's about to come flying off."
59 "We knew the austerity measures weren't going to fly, but I thought the government had a better handle on things than that. This is where you tell me they have a plan."
60 "They have a plan," he said, deadpan.
61 "They do? What is it?"
62 "I have no idea. I just said what you told me to. As far as I know, I'm lying through my teeth. If they have any idea what's going on, they're doing a great job of pretending they don't."
63 "One of these days, you're going to bring me good news and I'm going to have a stroke. You know what this means, right? I've got some heavy hitters who are ass-deep in some of those bonds who are going to want out."
64 "Now you're the one with bad news. How bad is it going to hurt?"
65 "Two, three points. Depends on how many of them get cold feet. Hope for most, count on all. Ceiling, call it five points downside. Once the first sale hits the wire, it's going to cause a stampede."
66 "That is not going to make my boss happy at all. Isn't there something you can do to mitigate the damage? There's going to be an announcement on the offical response to the IMF demands. Can you wait until then before you make your recommendations to your clients?"
67 "That depends on what the announcements going to be. Can I get a heads up?"
68 "I'd rather keep that under wraps. It'll only be a couple of hours. Can you wait?"
69 "Translated: It's about to go off a cliff. The leading indicators already suck, Mike. I hold off too long and I'm going to need a new job at best and witness protection at worst. I'm not going to hang out to dry on this, but I'll keep my finger off the trigger for now."
70 "How much time can you give me?"
71 "No promises. As long as I can and not one second more. That's the best I can do."
72 "It's better than I had hoped. I'll take it and run. Thanks, John."
73 "Luck, Mike. You're going to need it," I said as I rang off.
74
75 If my day was going to start out like that, it could only go up from here, right?
File WIP/bog_standard/005_chapter_five.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..77b8979)
1 Chapter Five
2
3 Staying positive in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary isn't optimism, it's idiocy, I charge I no longer bother to refute. My phone rang again, and hope for an easy day died an ignominious death. Tomas Rendazzo, a beat reporter covering all relevant things Italian had even more good news to share, and since his European contacts were either already in hiding or in midair from their leaps from windows, I was his confidant by default. I considered myself reasonably safe since my office doesn't have any windows.
4
5 "John, I'm hearing disturbing things about you."
6 "As long as you don't repeat them to Interpol, I can stay off the lam."
7 "This is serious. Word is that you're about to pull the plug on your Greek investments."
8 "Sheez, Tommy, you got my phone tapped or what? It's only been fifteen minutes, and I haven't even made any decisions yet."
9 "Just trying to stay pre-emptive. You do of course know what will happen if word gets out that major American players are pulling out of Greek markets?"
10 "Since this is my first day on the job, I have no idea. I think economic impact of substantial capital realignment comes in training on Day Two."
11 "Fine, fine, so you do know. Then why are you even considering it?"
12 "Because I work for clients, Tom, not governments. If the Greeks can't keep their heads above water, I'm not throwing them a life preserver. They didn't ask my opinion before they got into this mess, and I'm not doing an Ann Landers to help get them out. Bottom line is that black numbers are good, red numbers are bad. Right now Athens is bleeding from its ears. Besides, why does Rome even care? They're not even in the same bed."
13 "It's all connected, John. Once the IMF writes off the Greeks, it won't be long before they start looking at us, the Turks, everybody. No one likes the things the bankers are saying, and they're taking their displeasure to the streets."
14 "I've seen some of the reports, but I'm not sure what you're asking. The whole zone is quicksand and I'm not throwing good money after bad down a sinkhole. I promised to hold off until I start seeing press releases, but my patience isn't infinite, and if I start getting sell orders, I have a job to do."
15 "I'm just asking for time, John. We can get our houses in order, but we just need to know that the big money's not going to run for the beach at the first scent of blood in the water. A panic like that will send interest rates through the roof, and it'll just get worse from there."
16 "I hear you, and I'll tell you what I told Mike: I'll do what I can until I have to do what I'm told. It's all I got, so take it or leave it. If I had a brain, I'd start the transfers as soon as I hung up. Good thing for you that I'm not too bright."
17 "OK, OK, I appreciate your honesty. If there's anything to add to what you're already getting, I'll let you know."
18 "Fair enough. Ciao, Tom," I said as I hung up.
19
20 That was a fair sample of the types of conversations I had all morning long. Panicked bankers, politicians, hedge-funders and day-traders all trying to get a read on what I was going to do and when. I played the same song for all of them, making sure that everyone understood that I was perfectly aware of who I was working for and what they expected. I didn't make any friends and probably lost a few, but facts are facts. If they wanted to stay on a sinking ship until the keel hit bottom, I'd drink a toast to the wreckage, but I wouldn't be rowing the lifeboat.
21
22 Right before lunch, the expected announcements came over the wires, and none of the news was good. The austerity measures the IMF was demanding weren't going over well, and as predicted, people were taking to the streets. Riots were breaking out all through the EuroZone and civil authorities had their hands full trying to keep things under control. The only quiet spots at the moment were Germany, Britain and France, but that didn't shock anyone as they weren't making any plays for IMF funds. Their social gravy trains would keep running on time, at least for a time, so they were on the sidelines. They could smell the smoke, but they weren't on fire. Yet.
23
24 It was almost time for my doctor's appointment, so putting my terminal to sleep, I grabbed my coat and left the office. Maybe some fresh air would do me some good.
25
26 *****
27
28 Only a few minutes after John left, a coworker came looking for him. One of the new hires in IT had developed a computer program that generated a daily list of longshots that were most likely to pay off. The coworker had come to ask if John wanted to contribute to the pot, and not finding him, soon left. All but one of the suggested wagers paid off, and the pool participants each earned two million dollars after taxes.
29
30 *****
31
32 I considered driving to the doctor's office, but it wasn't far and besides, I wanted some fresh air to help clear my head. I had things to work out, and the short walk to my appointment would give me at least a chance to get a handle on them.
File WIP/bog_standard/006_chapter_six.txt added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..fb868e8)
1 Chapter Six
2
3 The diner hadn't changed much over the years. It was still small, still poorly lit, and it still had the same, stale music playing from the overhead speakers. The decor had changed some over the years, and its recent incarnation was something between art deco and film noir. Trevor had said that he was playing to the yuppie crowd that had stormed the barricades in the last decade or so, but from what I could tell, the clientele consisted of the same core group that had first discovered the place twenty years ago. He'd kept his trophy wife and put their two daughters through expensive colleges on what he'd made here, so it was all the same to me as long as the food came out hot.
4
5 The place wasn't busy, but some of the old crowd had commandeered a corner next to the kitchen and a couple of tables were pulled together to accomodate them. There were a couple of empty chairs left, so threading my way through the tables and around the waitresses walking the floor, I made it to the nearest empty seat and hung my coat on the back of a chair before sitting down. No one seemed to notice, but that's par for the course. Conversation is sometimes a full-contact sport, requiring an elbow or two to get in edgewise and then never relinquishing the floor.
6
7 "There's no way that they can just break into your house and say they're checking on stuff," Tom Brookins was saying. "You let them get away with that stuff and the next thing you know, we're over the cliff."
8 "We have to make sure that people are safe," Wendy Stobel replied. "There are too many guns just laying around where people can get to them and people are getting hurt. I don't have a problem with making sure that people are being responsible."
9 "Responsible, hell. This is a power grab, plain and simple. They don't want anyone to be able to defend themselves, so they're trying end runs around our rights. It's pathetic, and nobody's going to stand for it," Rick Trope said.
10 "Next thing you know, they'll be raiding your fridge and tossing your cupboards to make sure you don't have any transfats stashed anywhere. They'll be selling junk food out of the trunks of cars at abandoned gas stations," Frank Walters said.
11 "Wendy's right. There are enough crazy people running around nowadays that we shouldn't have to worry about what's going to happen to us just trying to walk down the street. The cops have to get a handle on this stuff, and I'm all for it," Susan Dryer said.
12 "We have some right here at this table," Tom said. "Why don't you just run around in moonsuits and oxygen tanks, then wrap it all up in bubble wrap to make sure nothing bad ever happens to you. Stay in your house, and make sure you never take the stairs while you're at it. Being free means being free. It don't mean being safe," Tom said.
13 "What about our kids, Tom?" Wendy asked. "Do you want them to have to clean up the mess that we've made of things? It's not fair for them to have to grow up the way things are. It's bad enough that criminals are running amok through the streets, but we have to watch the garbage they're putting on TV. All that sex and violence, and now the video games are even worse."
14 "Yeah, the devil's loose and we in the end of times. Don't you ever get tired of that old song and dance?" Rick said, stirring sugar into his refilled coffee.
15 "Just because you have no morals doesn't mean that no one does," Susan said. "People just want to live in a society that respects the law."
16 "You hearing this, Johnny? You better get a new job, because everybody knows that you're just a front man for the Illuminati. It's all your fault that our country is going down the crapper at highway speed," Tom said.
17 "What are you going to do?" I asked. "Somebody has play the bad guy. It's just my turn today."
18 "You know that you're financing all kinds of horrible things, John," Susan said. "Just read the papers and see what it is that all that money's buying all over the world. I know Tom's just making fun of me, but he's right in his own twisted way. You should stop supporting the butchers."
19
20 I had placed an order for a bacon-lettuce-tomato on wheat, some chips and an iced tea during a lull in the free-for-all. Sandy took my order with a commisurating shake of her head and ran for the kitchen before she could get blamed for some obscure aspect of our national social decline.
21
22 "I don't do politics, Sue, you know that. I have to consider them when I'm making decisions, but I'm not endorsing, supporting or empowering anything. I do what my clients tell me to do. I don't judge their politics or their moral character. It's their money, and I put it where they want it to go."
23 "That's BS, and you know it, John," Wendy said, crumpling her napkin and throwing it on the table. "You know perfectly well that you could steer their investments into funds that are more conscientious about what they invest in. You just want to wash your hands of the responsibility."
24 "Give it a rest, for crying out loud. The man's just making a living, the same as the rest of us," Rick said.
25 "So how much innocent blood is on your hands today, John? How many diamond mines or ivory exporters are you enabling today?" Sue asked.
26 "On the way here? None, but the day is young. Give me a chance to eat my lunch and I'll see what I can do to destroy somebody's indiginous culture. Maybe I can hack down some rainforest if things get slow," I replied. Taking the women seriously was the fast-track to either a coronary or bleeding ulcers. They came out of Berkeley in the 60's and they've never changed a bit.
27 "Well, I'm not going to validate your rhetoric one minute longer by listening to it," Wendy said as she grabbed her bill and headed for the register. She waited only long enough for Sue to join her before huffing and puffing her way to the register, having struck a philosphical blow in the name of the moral high ground. Tom whistled Kumbaya as he snagged a couple of my chips. Having considered the company I keep, Sandy had provided me with a double order.
28 "What set all that off," I asked around a mouthful of sandwich. Not that it would have taken much, since the political lines within our circle were indelibly marked. Some days, a chance remark on a comic strip or television commercial would spark a war over such diverse topics as the objectivication of women or genetically-modified wheat.
29 "Eh, something about a typhoon in the Phillipines, I think. It said on the news that we're sending troops down there, and Wendy went off the deep end about grinding the fascist boot on the throats of desperate survivors, and it went off from there. You know how she is."
30 "I know how you are," I said, sipping my tea. "You've never met a button that you didn't push."
31 "It was all in good fun," Rick said. "Sometimes you just get tired of all that holier-than-thou crap and you just need a break. There's a limit to how much tree-hugging I can stomach in a day, especially when I'm trying to eat."
32 "So other than enforcing the brown-shirt status quo, what else is happening with you guys? It's been a while, and I've been crazy busy at work with this IMF stuff."
33 "Same old, same old, pretty much," Tom said. "Another day, another dollar wasted on taxes. I just settled one of those GMO suits, and I think it's going to set a precedent. People are getting hinky about all this Frankenfood that's popping up everywhere, not knowing where it's going to end."
34 "When we've all got four arms and two heads," Frank said, looking around for Sandy to get a refill on his soda. "Nobody knows what that stuff is doing to us."
35 "We could be eating that stuff right now and we'd never know it," Rick said. "Do we really trust those guys to be telling the truth about that stuff? Hey, Trevor, you peddling any of that crap around here?"
36
37 Trevor came out of the kitchen with a cleaver in his hand, the blade sticky with the blood of whatever he'd been hacking up in the back. He gave Rick a scowl, spinning the handle of his cleaver in his hand. "Maybe I'll be peddling what's left of you if you keep talking that crap," he said. "I don't like people bad-mouthing my restaurant."
38 "Get a grip, Trev," Tom said. "He wasn't saying anything bad about you, but how do you know what your suppliers are selling you? You ever think about that?"
39 "I've been dealing with the same suppliers for years, and I make it clear what I'll buy and what I won't. One of them ever crosses me, and I'm done doing business with them. And with you," he added with another scowl at Rick who held up his hands palms out.
40 "Calm down, brother, no harm, no foul. We were just talking and I was wondering out loud. No need to get touchy," he said.
41 "Well, wonder to yourself. I don't want my good customers to get the wrong idea about you running your mouth," Trevor said before he returned to his culinary mutilations.
42 "Some people can't take a joke," Rick said. "Makes me wonder if he's hiding something. I noticed he's pretty handy with that cleaver. Maybe he's got a few skeletons in his closet that got there the old-fashioned way."
43 "You just won't be happy until your head's on the wall over there next to the moose, will you?" I asked as I picked at the crumbs on my plate. "Don't make me have to say nice things about you at your funeral. The hells have a special ring for people who lie like that about the dead."
44 "Eh, he's going to live forever. Only the good die young," Frank said, earning himself the paper wrapper from a straw to the forehead for his trouble.
45 "Well, as fun as this has been, I've got to do my part to exacerbate the suffering of innocent women and children," Rick said. "I can't call it a day until I'm responsible for a mass grave somewhere that I've never heard of," Tom said, grabbing his bill and standing up.
46 "Just stay off that bus going off the cliff," Frank said. "You don't want to get sucked into a good thing."
47
48 We were all standing and getting our coats, sorting out which bill belonged to whom. By the time everyone had what they were supposed to, we were digging into our pockets for loose bills and change to leave Sandy for the tip. I dumped out a few ones and a pocketful of change, noticing a coin that seemed odd in the pile of copper and silver. Not taking the time for a better look, I wrote it off as one of those strange coins that people collect in the course of their days and left it at that. I waited in line with the others at the register, trading some more verbal shots before I paid my tab and rejoined the working world already in progress.
49
50 *****
51
52 After the group had left the diner, Sandy came to the table with the busboy to clear it and separate the tables that had been pulled together. Seeing the strange coin that John had left, she kept it apart from the rest of her tips, then at the end of the day took it home and looked it up on the internet. After a few webpages, she discovered that it was a gold coin from an Incan cache long thought lost. From the markings on the coin, she was able to piece together enough clues to locate the rest of the treasure. Her finder's fee was enough that she was able to start her own restaurant, exclusive enough that the waiting list as of this writing was 176 years long.
53
54 *****
File WIP/bog_standard/README.md added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..9fbebb5)
1 Just a silly story I started way back when. I stopped when it started getting stupid,
2 but I may pick it up again some day.
File hump_day/README.md added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..dca51cf)
1 The dead are rising, creating a crisis unlike anything the world has ever seen. FIRM has assigned agents Hump Dumpster and Joan Eastwood to save the world.
2
3 But what if the living present an even greater threat?
File ladies_dead_lovely_knights/README.md added (mode: 100644) (index 0000000..e5c6437)
1 [MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. PLEASE SEE THE NOTES SECTION OF THE BOOK BEFORE READING]
2
3 Gabriel Michaels left The Order almost thirty years ago over a crime
4 he would not commit and has been seeking redemption ever since. After an
5 intrusion by a local gang into his neighborhood, he sets out to learn why
6 a years-old truce has been so flagrantly violated.
7
8 Plagued by disturbing dreams, he follows a trail that brings him
9 face-to-face with the demons that have been chasing him for years. How
10 much blood will he need to shed to appease the specters from his past?
11
12 Needing to save a mentally-disturbed girl from her sadistic tormentor,
13 Gabriel risks everything to save his neighborhood in a game where the
14 players and board can change on a whim, against an opponent who makes
15 his own rules.
16
17 Redemption is the prize, damnation is the risk,
18 and the souls of those he has sworn to protect are at stake. Fighting
19 against his enemy and himself, he'll walk the line between being good
20 and becoming the greater evil.
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